Financial Priorities and a Poem Inspired by Prep Center

*26*

Number of receipts from visiting a coffee establishment since 2006 began.
(as recorded in my "Finances" Excel document)

*28*
Number of receipts from visiting Ralphs (the grocery).

Variables: I have a tendency to lose the coffee receipts or forget to ask for them.

Hypothesis: Over time, I will, like my fellow Los Angelinos, develop the ability to subsist solely on Starbucks.

Conclusion: pending.

And here's another good one...

*4*
Number of parking tickets recorded since January.

*$41*
Average cost per ticket.

*$164*

Approximate amount of money paid to the city of Los Angeles for blocking an 8-foot area of curb during street cleaning.

*44*
Estimated number of Starbucks runs I could have made with this money.
(Kind of makes you want to cry, doesn't it?)

Facts:
1. Street parking here in the ghetto = RIDICULOUS!
2. Coffee = Happiness

Given: the information provided in this problem and the Geometric principles of the Car-to-Curb Formula and the Espresso Theory...

Prove: that LA seriously owes me an intense coffee date.

**^**

Ok...I'll stop with all the crazy math stuff...I've started working at Prep Center, a company that provides tutoring services for highschool level students, and I'm feeling all sorts of educational as of late. They hired me for English and History. Then they asked me to do some math. Kind of funny. I'm teaching geometry to 5th and 6th graders. It's been like 5 or 6 years since I've done geometry. So I'm learning it all over again...which is (awkwardly) really fun for Meredith. Todays topics also included World War I, simplifying radical equations, avoiding the passive voice, and why Kobe Bryant is the best basketball player in the NBA. I had anywhere from 4 to 7 kids at any given time, but most of them are super smart and don't really want/need my help. So when Leann and Jen no longer required my assistance, I found some time to write a poem. As my title for this blog entry indicates, I was actually inspired to write this poem...but I won't bore you with the train of thought that brought me from an essay on The Scarlet Letter to the concept behind this poem. In fact, I'm really not going to explain anything about the poem so you can all make your own assumptions and judgments about me through whatever wacky interpretation of my words that you come up with. That said...

(currently untitled)

What is the benefit if it grows and grows?
What does it prove if no body knows
The secret behind those shadowy rows?

Stop.

and close
your eyes

There in the fountain a child dances,
Dreaming and singing of adult romances.
Open
and Free
and Ready
To Love.
To Give.
To Be.

the best Love
for her Love

Who Studies When They Could Be Blogging? or, Another Adage to My Dorkdom

Kudos to Melodrama for the title-style.

Moving on to Realism...a quote from it's master, Henrik Ibsen:

"Anyone who wishes to understand me fully must know Norway."

A quote from this master, Meredith Cooper:

"Anyone who wishes to understand me fully must know Texas."

You know those obnoxious people who are always talking about where they are from and comparing everything from here to where they used to be? They're always going around saying stuff like, "Well back in Wexford, everybody is pink and filled with makeup." Or maybe, "Yeah, so in Pixley, beauty means still having all of your teeth." It's irritating because everything here is judged by some crazy-weird standard that no one you know has ever heard of...but we are all supposed to assume that we understand the small-town ranter...smile and nod, or try to interrupt and change the subject. Yeah...you know who I'm talking about.

I am that kid.

But the problem in my case is that a good 84% of what I refer to as my "Texas experience" applies only to me...and some chick named Midge that lived in the 1950s. Actually, I rather enjoy proliferating these stereotypes. Probably because I am one. Think Southern Belle-Susy Homemaker, and you've pretty much got me all summed up, which leads me to make comments like, "In Texas, they raise us to be a good wife and mother." Which isn't true. For some of the people there...

Ok...so to avoid offending any Southerners or Texans, lets just talk about me. (yeah that doesn't sound self-absorbed) But honestly, here are just a few facts from my life before LA:
* I was born going to a Baptist church where the third row on the left side of the sanctuary belonged to my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course our unit of four. The Cooper Clan ate together every Sunday after church, either at the A&M Cafeteria (where we also had a designated table) or at Pappaw's house, potluck-style.
*My Mama taught me to sew from the day I could safely hold a needle and thread. I made my first dress at age seven.
*By middle school I could properly and thoroughly clean my home as well as prepare a lovely dinner. I also began babysitting (ie: practicing for when I would become a mommy).
* In Junior High, the girls in my Bible study learned what it meant to wait for a godly man and only date with the purpose of marriage. I had a totally legit list of standards by the time I finished the 7th grade that described what I was looking for in my future husband.
* In High School I went to all four Homecoming Dances (complete with ridiculously huge mums) and three Junior-Senior Proms (including my Sophomore year where I was asked by a Junior).
* At church I did all the leadershipey stuff and sang with the band on Sunday mornings.
* Senior year I took both regular and advanced Floral Design and was chosen by my teacher to teach a workshop where I was in charge of explaining the largest and most complicated arrangement.

Honestly...who does all that stuff?? The only thing I really lacked was being head cheerleader and dating the quarterback (although I did date the soccer player, football player, preppie scholastic type, and perfect church boy...all classic choices). I came from "good stock," and performed beautifully all the duties of a perfect housewife. When I finished High School, I planned to attend Texas A&M, where I would get my MRS degree and graduate with my Aggie ring on one hand an a diamond on the other. Of course that last part never came to fruition, but I was going strong during the preparatory phase.

Now to the point of this awkward collection of thoughts--those who understand this type of upbringing get it when I say that I feel behind because I'm about to be a Junior in college and I don't know yet who I am going to marry. For some people, their hometown, neighborhood, or state don't seem to make much difference. How many people do you know that are all about Iowa pride? But at the same time, if you grew up on a corn farm, it's going to show at least a little bit, like it or not. I enjoy generalizing about Texas and the South because it's funny (at least to me), but I'm a smart kid. I know that my perspectives of growing up in the specific family and specific community within Texas where I spent 18 years of my life are not the same as everyone else's. Really, most of my friends from home don't have the same type of picture of College Station as I do. But where's the fun in representing the complete truth? Thank you Natalie Portman for putting it so well: "Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. But it's better if you do."

Therefore, I will continue to make my sarcastic generalizations as long as they continue to incite freaked-out, confused, or otherwise laughable responses from my audience. So there!! I will be starting sentences with "Well in Texas..." for the rest of my life--probably even on my death bed--so you can either get used to it or move to Canada. Of course, in Texas, we'd never even think about leaving this great nation because we are ALL proud to be Americans...