Taming the "Don Juan"

In my Theatre 311 class, Paul Backer has been talking the last couple of weeks about the Don Juan archetype that runs through theatre history. For those unfamiliar with the term, Don Juan is this fabulously romantic guy who is mostly a huge womanizer--women are drawn to him because he has all the right lines and is so hot and suave and all those other things, and yet they are repulsed by him because they know that he loves em and leaves em. In the end, though, the woman always falls for Don Juan and convinces herself that this time he really does love her...which he does, but not for very long.

This story changes some throughout the years as different cultures look at life in different ways, but I think that Don Juans have been around through all of history and will never really die out. Why? Because we don't want them to. There's something in our nature that is intensely attracted to him.

Now before you start thinking this is another of Meredith's man-hating posts, I will be the first to admit that Don Juan is just as often a woman. I will get to more of that later, but for now I will refer to Don Juan as a him for simplicity's sake...only because I have never heard of a girl named Don or Juan and he's generally male in the stories we read in class.

So what is the attraction to this said Don Juan? I think this goes back to the way God designed us as humans. Don Juan promises adventure--he is passion in human form and sparks that part of us that desires to be a lead in an epic story. Everyone wants to have the type of life that would make a good movie or book--something with excitement, and that's what Don Juan offers, though he is dangerous. Though the practical side of us desires safety, there is something alluring about danger, so without the possibility of danger, nothing really seems that fab.

Now when we look at people, they seem to fall into two categories--the type you date (or in the worst cases, one-night stand as long as you don't have to talk to them) and the type you marry. Despite our adventurous side, we all have a practical side that wants to make sure we are secure, so for a lot of people, they come to a point in life where they give up Don Juan for Lame John because he'll help pay the bills and sit in the rocking chair next to you on the porch once you retire. And if you're lucky, there is a passionate or adventurous moment or two that could make for an adequate short story.

But if all of us yearn for the full epic, why do we settle for Dr. Seuss? I think it's because most of us have forgotten that there are all sorts of categories in between, different versions of the Don Take-Home-to-Your-Mom. Why are we as people confining ourselves to one group or the other? And I say "we" because I think a person's categorization is partly his or her own fault...or society or whoever you like to blame for inherent problems. This ties into my new theory about how Christian women need to learn to be sexy. I don't understand why society thinks you have to be a slut or a virgin...and I really don't think that's how God intended it to be. Inside all of us is a sexy, adventurous side that desperately needs air. Yes, it's important to be pure and holy, but God made sex for us to enjoy. It's supposed to be hot and dirrty (thank you Christina Aguilara for adding the extra r) and awesome--within certain confines. But for some reason passion is associated with sin and chastity is safe and holy, though mildly boring.

Though rare, I fully believe that there are people out there that are more of a blend of adventure and security. This part of life is definitely not black and white--and if all of us secretly want a "bad boy" why do we (as the Christian community) try to blot out all things sexual. This isn't an encouragement to foster sin, because the Bible clearly says there are certain things that are sin and are wrong. What I am suggesting is that we embrace and appreciate the nuances of our personalities and nature in Christ. Yes, I strive to be pure and holy. Yes, I'm a virgin. And yes, I want to wait until I'm married to have sex, but that doesn't make me a prude. Undoubtedly, there is a very sexual and playful and fun side of me--that God created--that will really please my husband someday.

Of course this still leaves us with the Don Juan problem. I, like everyone else, find myself strangely attracted to him, and a time or two, I've been the Don Juan myself. It happens. But like all good things in life, finding the right balance is best. Not everyone is quite so one-dimensional. And the cool thing about people is that we are all looking for a slightly personal blend (think your Starbucks' usual)--there's not really one personality that works for everyone. Though I'm not a big proponent of the whole "The One" theory, I think each of us is looking for a different combination of Don Juan and Ward Cleaver.

And as for me, I'm not so sick of Don Juan that I really want to give him up completely, but I'm certainly a little much for Dr. Seuss to handle ;)

I want the epic, with all the ups and downs--a real fairy tale. And it's not really my style to settle for less.