So I just feel the need to share with the WHOLE WORLD these awesome words of truth that have come via my pastor, Scott, at Shoreline Community Church. We're starting a new sermon series through the gospel of John, and I had NO CLUE that the first few verses were so full of amazingness. Seriously, take the thirty or so minutes out of your day to listen to Scott's sermon on April 23, 2006. How great is our God!!
On another note, I've decided we should bring back calling each other "Brother/Sister so-and-so" within the church. I think I shall add this to my list of ministries with Shoreline. Baby Promotion Specialist. Potluck Promoter. And now Title Encourager. It is so cool to be a part of what God is doing within this group. Building relationships within this family has been so wonderful for me and a total answer to prayer. :)
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Learning the Bible in a Secular Classroom
So I'm in this Hebrew Bible (AKA Old Testament) class here at SC (no literally...I'm sitting in the class right now), and I've been pondering lately why the class inevitably puts me in a terrible mood once I step through the doors...and along the same line, why I would rather re-read all of my friends' Facebook profiles...or review my bank statement...or try to teach myself Mandarin Chinese by staring really hard at a foreign newspaper, than actually pay attention in class.
So as an aspiring theorist, I began my investigation through some of my fellow students. More specifically, I wanted to see how some of the other Christians in the class felt about what we've "learned" this semester. My two test-subjects proved complete opposites. And if it's possible...I think I'm more of a third opposite than a compromise in the middle. Hence, the need for further exploration: a blog post. *dum dum dumm*
The big issue that I'd like to address is whether or not it is beneficial to be taught the Bible from a non-Christian perspective. My gut reaction, and the reason I chose to take this class in the first place, is an overwhelming YES--of course it will be helpful. Clearly, if I remain immersed solely in Christian perspectives and influences, I am more likely to swallow the information I'm given, without even chewing. Naturally, I would utterly choke when served a challenging viewpoint. Or at best, crawl away with a feeling of indigestion.
As a responsible adult, I know it's important to view ANY idea from all different sides in order to make an informed decision about what I think (and of course so that I can prove to everyone else that I'm right...) So the plan this semester was to broaden my Biblical palate through this course, not especially for spiritual purposes, but for general education (hence this class falls under the options for "general education requirements"). I mean, really...
1) I'd be all about the assigned readings (great excuse to pound away a significant chunk of the Old Testament)
2) I could definately score an A since I've got years of Sunday School experience
And 3) I would naturally interpret scripture better in my own studies via understanding the cultural context in a deeper way.
Sounds fab, right? I get a grade-booster and some extra knowledge to apply to studying God's Word. Obviously, I don't expect much by the way of God-moments and epiphanies from class (How can one without the Holy Spirit really understand and teach the things of God?), but I use the extra information more as a tool to fascilitate a new depth to my time with the Lord.
Instead, what I get is the sense that every lecture is an intensive "Happy-Meal Challenge." Someone's taken my precious faith, tossed it in the blender, and now force-feeds it to me by the paper-cupful. *echk echk* Is that part of a ketchup packet...? Who threw the straw into the mix?? Honestly...
I guess that's the key. I don't feel like I'm learning and discussing the Bible as it was meant to be studied, but that I'm trying to reconcile pulverised pieces of scripture with all sorts of weird outside influences. Don't get me wrong--I think it's a great idea to discover how other writings and archaeological evidence enlightens the worldview of different eras in Scripture, but at the same time, the class presents these as "proof" that Biblical redactors copied their ideas from someone else or blatantly made them up. Class time, then, is a chance to dig into the flaws and sift out any remaining granules of belief. And this does not make Meredith happy.
I'm becoming convinced that what I really need is supplemental instruction...like a mini seminary professor to sit on my shoulder and provide other thoughts to ponder along with the information that the university feeds my brain. I leave class with twice as many questions as I began with...and the only effective way I've found to get rid of them (because I don't know any seminary kiddos who can spare 3 or 4 hours a week to educate me further) is to hate the class and quit caring about what the professor has to say. If my head is full of Facebook facts or Mandarin, I can tune out the blasphemy. I wish I could take a follow-up course where they'd teach me the whole thing over again in a comparative format: here's what they told you, and here's how different churches interpret it. Yes, I want to know what the world has to say about my God--how they fight to disprove Him. But first, I need a deeper understanding of what the Bible has to say. I've got the opposing argument down pat...now I need to know my own side better.
An epiphany!!
This would be a great class to take once I finish seminary...
Anyone know where I can sit in on some Bible classes? Or pick up an un-juiced burger? Feedback greatly appreciated :)
So as an aspiring theorist, I began my investigation through some of my fellow students. More specifically, I wanted to see how some of the other Christians in the class felt about what we've "learned" this semester. My two test-subjects proved complete opposites. And if it's possible...I think I'm more of a third opposite than a compromise in the middle. Hence, the need for further exploration: a blog post. *dum dum dumm*
The big issue that I'd like to address is whether or not it is beneficial to be taught the Bible from a non-Christian perspective. My gut reaction, and the reason I chose to take this class in the first place, is an overwhelming YES--of course it will be helpful. Clearly, if I remain immersed solely in Christian perspectives and influences, I am more likely to swallow the information I'm given, without even chewing. Naturally, I would utterly choke when served a challenging viewpoint. Or at best, crawl away with a feeling of indigestion.
As a responsible adult, I know it's important to view ANY idea from all different sides in order to make an informed decision about what I think (and of course so that I can prove to everyone else that I'm right...) So the plan this semester was to broaden my Biblical palate through this course, not especially for spiritual purposes, but for general education (hence this class falls under the options for "general education requirements"). I mean, really...
1) I'd be all about the assigned readings (great excuse to pound away a significant chunk of the Old Testament)
2) I could definately score an A since I've got years of Sunday School experience
And 3) I would naturally interpret scripture better in my own studies via understanding the cultural context in a deeper way.
Sounds fab, right? I get a grade-booster and some extra knowledge to apply to studying God's Word. Obviously, I don't expect much by the way of God-moments and epiphanies from class (How can one without the Holy Spirit really understand and teach the things of God?), but I use the extra information more as a tool to fascilitate a new depth to my time with the Lord.
Instead, what I get is the sense that every lecture is an intensive "Happy-Meal Challenge." Someone's taken my precious faith, tossed it in the blender, and now force-feeds it to me by the paper-cupful. *echk echk* Is that part of a ketchup packet...? Who threw the straw into the mix?? Honestly...
I guess that's the key. I don't feel like I'm learning and discussing the Bible as it was meant to be studied, but that I'm trying to reconcile pulverised pieces of scripture with all sorts of weird outside influences. Don't get me wrong--I think it's a great idea to discover how other writings and archaeological evidence enlightens the worldview of different eras in Scripture, but at the same time, the class presents these as "proof" that Biblical redactors copied their ideas from someone else or blatantly made them up. Class time, then, is a chance to dig into the flaws and sift out any remaining granules of belief. And this does not make Meredith happy.
I'm becoming convinced that what I really need is supplemental instruction...like a mini seminary professor to sit on my shoulder and provide other thoughts to ponder along with the information that the university feeds my brain. I leave class with twice as many questions as I began with...and the only effective way I've found to get rid of them (because I don't know any seminary kiddos who can spare 3 or 4 hours a week to educate me further) is to hate the class and quit caring about what the professor has to say. If my head is full of Facebook facts or Mandarin, I can tune out the blasphemy. I wish I could take a follow-up course where they'd teach me the whole thing over again in a comparative format: here's what they told you, and here's how different churches interpret it. Yes, I want to know what the world has to say about my God--how they fight to disprove Him. But first, I need a deeper understanding of what the Bible has to say. I've got the opposing argument down pat...now I need to know my own side better.
An epiphany!!
This would be a great class to take once I finish seminary...
Anyone know where I can sit in on some Bible classes? Or pick up an un-juiced burger? Feedback greatly appreciated :)
Monday, April 17, 2006
Seriously though...
Why am I always attracted to the most unattainable men ever???
This has been a topic of some ponderation (yes it's a word) for me lately. Today in Theatre History, we discussed Freud. I don't really know anything about Freud aside from a vague idea of his Oedipus Complex theory, but I bring him up because he was all sorts of psycho-analytical about stuff, and I'm sure he would have plenty to say about my bizarro crushes.
Here's how it works:
*Meredith wants to one day be married and have children.
*Marriage and children require a man, who must go through the stages of acquaintance, attraction, friends, talking, hanging-out, dating, exclusively dating, courting, engagement, etc, etc. (yeah...there are like a billion terms...)
*Meredith has high standards for said husband/father position.
*Meredith actually encounters such quality material.
*Said material is way out of Meredith's league.
*Meredith admires/respects material from afar.
*Meredith remains single.
Not that I'm complaining about the remaining single part of that, because currently it's working out fairly well for me, but my eternal pessimist postulates that I may be in for the long haul. See, the part about the unattainable guy that's so tricky is that you can't attain him. Like...by definition.
Of course, I will continue hard-headedly to like him anyways. Because apparently that's just how I roll.
Explain that to me, Freud...
This has been a topic of some ponderation (yes it's a word) for me lately. Today in Theatre History, we discussed Freud. I don't really know anything about Freud aside from a vague idea of his Oedipus Complex theory, but I bring him up because he was all sorts of psycho-analytical about stuff, and I'm sure he would have plenty to say about my bizarro crushes.
Here's how it works:
*Meredith wants to one day be married and have children.
*Marriage and children require a man, who must go through the stages of acquaintance, attraction, friends, talking, hanging-out, dating, exclusively dating, courting, engagement, etc, etc. (yeah...there are like a billion terms...)
*Meredith has high standards for said husband/father position.
*Meredith actually encounters such quality material.
*Said material is way out of Meredith's league.
*Meredith admires/respects material from afar.
*Meredith remains single.
Not that I'm complaining about the remaining single part of that, because currently it's working out fairly well for me, but my eternal pessimist postulates that I may be in for the long haul. See, the part about the unattainable guy that's so tricky is that you can't attain him. Like...by definition.
Of course, I will continue hard-headedly to like him anyways. Because apparently that's just how I roll.
Explain that to me, Freud...
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Sister Aftermath.
Understatement 1: this weekend was fabulous.Understatement 2: my sister is hot. Really hot.
Check out the amazingness that is these pictures. Yes...some of these were taken in traffic. But it was stopped. I swear ;) Then of course there are the pretty Easter pictures. Thanks to Allison for playing paparazzi since Dad couldn't do it.
Seriously, this weekend totally rocked, it was so awesome having my sister here to get into all sorts of trouble with. *sigh* If only Texas were closer...
Friday, April 14, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
New Band!!
Some Fabulousness that we should all be aware of...
"Dark Blue"
Jack's Mannequin
I have. I have you
Breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck
I don't, don't know
What you could possibly expect under this condition
So I'll wait, I'll wait
For the ambulance to come, ambulance to come
Pick us up off the floor
What did you possibly expect under this condition
So slow down... this night's a
Perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue
Have you ever been alone
In a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue..
Just dark blue
This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet, Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so
I'll swim (I'll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down
And now all I can see are the planets in a row
Suggesting it's best that I slow down
This night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning dark blue
We were boxing
We were boxing the stars
We were boxing (we were boxing)
You were swinging for Mars
And then the water reached the West Coast
And took the power lines (the power lines)
And it was me and you (this could last forever)
And the whole town under water
There was nothing we could do
It was dark blue
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the room could be burning now there's nothing but dark blue
If you've ever been alone in the dark blue
If you've ever been alone you'll know (you'll know)
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Nostalgia for Large Families, or Why Can't We All Just Be Friends?
I'm a huge advocate for small family size in America today--we're already over-populated and running out of plots to bury people. Plus, having two working parents in nearly every home leaves less time available to invest in the children, so it makes sense to only have two or three. Then there's the whole aspect of many children that's kind of obsolete, as in, you don't need ten farmhands, so having ten strapping boys just means more dirty laundry and less table manners.
But today it occured to me why we need large families. Maybe there's something to be said for four generations all living in the same household. We still need that safe-haven. Girls need brothers. I'm not sure how this applies to guys, so I won't venture there, but as a woman, this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. If we were meant to live as families--blood community that suffers with you just because of who you are--then what implications does this have on those of us who are distant from our families emotionally and geographically?
Thanks to John Mayer, we are all familiar with the alleged effects of abusive fathers on girls. Anything from physical or emotional abuse to neglect clearly affects you as you grow up. But it's really more than that--no matter how old you get, men play an important role in how you view yourself and the rest of the world. My daddy and my brother are far away...but I still long for that male, protective presence in my life. In high school I must have been too preocupied being emo to appreciate having both a loving father and a brother to stand with me. Because I grew up around the same people for twelve years of school, many of my guy-friends were also like brothers. If I were at home, there are several of them that I could call for no reason or with any problem. Through time, those relationships developed into secure spaces for me because more or less, a brother's love is safe.
At the same time, I am also a huge believer in the idea that guys and girls can't really be friends. Especially as I get older, I notice that it is increasingly difficult to be friends with guys because getting to know each other requires intentionality, since you haven't had ten or so years of previous interaction. Intentionality implies interest...and interest usually turns out for the worse. Someone likes someone more and things get wierd and fall apart. So finding a deep friendship with a guy usually can only come in a romantic relationship.
Now here's where the problem all comes together: guys and girls can't really be friends...but we still need brothers in our lives. If my whole family lived together still, I could turn to Neil (my bro) or one of my guy cousins to complain, cry and find brotherly comfort. These men are safe because we are family. You can't/don't become romantically interested in blood relations. I can have a closeness with a brother that will be more fulfilling in some ways than I could ever have with a girlfriend...simply because he is a guy. Men and women compliment each other in a unique and God-designed way. From what I understand of the Bible, this is most closely represented in a marriage relationship, but in all types of community, it can be expressed on different levels. And without my family actually here, I really feel that void which my brother's filled. I'm not talking about that "hole" inside us that only God can fill, but the sense that a comfort and encouragement that I've grown accustomed to no longer supports me. Obviously, God has me in this place for a reason, and I trust that...but I still don't quite understand it. I miss having brothers. And I feel like I am at a place where the desire for romantic relationships prevents that familial option. Why can't the guys in my life really and truly be my brothers? It's on both sides--guys and girls are equally guilty of alterior intentions in relationships. It just makes life really frustrating because those does he/doesn't he/do I/don't I emotional attatchments are always at the back of my mind.
It's not really a fixable problem, I guess. But I just wanted to vent...and see if there are others who feel this too. Any suggestions? If men and women can't have deep friendships...but we desperately lack and really need those caring, familial relationships here in the Body of Christ, what do we do to remedy that?
But today it occured to me why we need large families. Maybe there's something to be said for four generations all living in the same household. We still need that safe-haven. Girls need brothers. I'm not sure how this applies to guys, so I won't venture there, but as a woman, this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. If we were meant to live as families--blood community that suffers with you just because of who you are--then what implications does this have on those of us who are distant from our families emotionally and geographically?
Thanks to John Mayer, we are all familiar with the alleged effects of abusive fathers on girls. Anything from physical or emotional abuse to neglect clearly affects you as you grow up. But it's really more than that--no matter how old you get, men play an important role in how you view yourself and the rest of the world. My daddy and my brother are far away...but I still long for that male, protective presence in my life. In high school I must have been too preocupied being emo to appreciate having both a loving father and a brother to stand with me. Because I grew up around the same people for twelve years of school, many of my guy-friends were also like brothers. If I were at home, there are several of them that I could call for no reason or with any problem. Through time, those relationships developed into secure spaces for me because more or less, a brother's love is safe.
At the same time, I am also a huge believer in the idea that guys and girls can't really be friends. Especially as I get older, I notice that it is increasingly difficult to be friends with guys because getting to know each other requires intentionality, since you haven't had ten or so years of previous interaction. Intentionality implies interest...and interest usually turns out for the worse. Someone likes someone more and things get wierd and fall apart. So finding a deep friendship with a guy usually can only come in a romantic relationship.
Now here's where the problem all comes together: guys and girls can't really be friends...but we still need brothers in our lives. If my whole family lived together still, I could turn to Neil (my bro) or one of my guy cousins to complain, cry and find brotherly comfort. These men are safe because we are family. You can't/don't become romantically interested in blood relations. I can have a closeness with a brother that will be more fulfilling in some ways than I could ever have with a girlfriend...simply because he is a guy. Men and women compliment each other in a unique and God-designed way. From what I understand of the Bible, this is most closely represented in a marriage relationship, but in all types of community, it can be expressed on different levels. And without my family actually here, I really feel that void which my brother's filled. I'm not talking about that "hole" inside us that only God can fill, but the sense that a comfort and encouragement that I've grown accustomed to no longer supports me. Obviously, God has me in this place for a reason, and I trust that...but I still don't quite understand it. I miss having brothers. And I feel like I am at a place where the desire for romantic relationships prevents that familial option. Why can't the guys in my life really and truly be my brothers? It's on both sides--guys and girls are equally guilty of alterior intentions in relationships. It just makes life really frustrating because those does he/doesn't he/do I/don't I emotional attatchments are always at the back of my mind.
It's not really a fixable problem, I guess. But I just wanted to vent...and see if there are others who feel this too. Any suggestions? If men and women can't have deep friendships...but we desperately lack and really need those caring, familial relationships here in the Body of Christ, what do we do to remedy that?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Watched this movie this weekend--made me wonder...
If I could have all the memories of certain people erased from my memory, would I? One specific person comes to mind. So the question goes...would he erase me?
I can't come to a quick answer.
I know that I'm supposed to say that I would always keep those memories because some of them are happy...and because the depths of the bad make the good things in life more vivid.
But some of it is really bad.
I guess I'm glad that I don't have the option...because I can't say that I'd make the right choice.
If I could have all the memories of certain people erased from my memory, would I? One specific person comes to mind. So the question goes...would he erase me?
I can't come to a quick answer.
I know that I'm supposed to say that I would always keep those memories because some of them are happy...and because the depths of the bad make the good things in life more vivid.
But some of it is really bad.
I guess I'm glad that I don't have the option...because I can't say that I'd make the right choice.
Mere Commentary
(I think I might have just found the title for my autobiography...catch the pun on C.S. Lewis's book + my name?)
Today for Shakespeare class we are reading a play by Thomas Kyd called The Spanish Tragedy. Somehow this will relate to Shakespeare. Of course I don't know exactly what Carnike wants us to pull from this, but I'm definately pro-Kyd. (also pro-kid, but that doesn't really apply here) Some quotes...
Balthazar speaking of Bel-imperia:
But wherefore blot I Bel-imperia's name?
It is my fault, not she, that merits blame.
My feature is not to content her sight,
My words are rude and work her no delight.
The lines I send her are but harsh and ill,
Such as do drop from Pan and Marsyas' quill.
My presents are not of sufficient cost,
And being worthless all my labour's lost.
Yet might she love me for my valliancy;
Ay, but that's slandered by captivity.
Yet might she love me to content her sire;
Ay, but her reason masters his desire.
Yet might she love me as her brother's friend;
Ay, but her hopes aim at some other end.
Yet might she love me to uprear her state;
Ay, but perhaps she hopes some nobler mate.
Yet might she love me as her beauty's thrall;
Ay, but I fear she cannot love at all.
(cross-reference with the following songs "Not Pretty Enough" by Kasey Chambers and "Don't Waste Your Heart" by the Dixie Chicks) Here we have a girl-esque monologue similar to the "he said *such and such*--what does he really mean??" conversation that women tend to have, trying to interpret every slight thing a guy says or does. Here, though, Balthazar flip flops between good qualities/reasons that she might love him and circumstantial truths that would prevent that. I find this a ridiculously common battle in me--not sure if I can claim that others ever feel this way--but I'm always wondering, "what if?" when it comes to guys. Trying to be objective, I can make a list of reasons why certain guys should like me--perhaps this is prideful...but I'd like to think that it's an attempt to look honestly at myself. However, for every good thing I can think of, an equally bad trait or reason reminds me why said boy should not like me. How do you ever really know? The assumption goes, if he never shows interest, then the "bad" list of qualities must be true about me. Not that I know much about logic, but I'm pretty sure this is faulty somehow. Bring in the last line and the Dixie Chicks song--perhaps there is another reason for my singleness that has nothing to do with me. In many ways, I see myself wondering the same kinds of things here as Balthazar, although I can also relate to Bel-imperia. I fear I cannot love at all. I wonder sometimes if anyone has ever thought these things about me...because even though all the facts suggest I should be interested in certain guys, I'm not. What's up with that?? Basically no matter how you discuss, debate, or dissect it, I'm never going to understand why God has me where I am right now relationally. I think if God were to interject here, He'd say, "uh...yeah...that's the point. Chill out. Quit dwelling."
Moving on...Kyd includes this super-sexy banter between Bel-imperia and her lover, Horatio...
Bel-imperia
My heart, sweet friend, is like a ship at sea:
She wisheth port, where riding all at ease,
She may repair what stormy times have worn,
And leaning on the shore, may sing with joy
That pleasure follows pain, and bliss annoy.
Possession of thy love is th'only port,
Wherein my heart, with fears and hopes long tossed,
Each hour doth wish and long to make resort;
There to repair the joys that it hath lost,
And sitting safe, to sing Cupid's choir
That sweetest bliss is crown of love's desire
...
Let dangers go, thy war shall be with me,
But such a war as breaks no bond of peace.
Speak thou fair words, I'll cross them with fair words;
Send thou sweet looks, I'll meet them with sweet looks;
Write loving lines, I'll answer loving lines;
Give me a kiss, I'll countercheck thy kiss:
Be this our warring peace, or peaceful war.
(later we see this in action)
Horatio
Then thus begin our wars: put forth thy hand,
That it may combat with my ruder hand.
Bel-imperia
Set forth thy foot to try the push of mine.
Horatio
But first my looks shall combat against thine.
Bel-imperia
Then ward thyself: I dart this kiss at thee.
Horatio
Thus I retort the dart thou threw'st at me.
Bel-imperia
Nay then, to gain the glory of the field,
My twining arms shall yoke and make thee yield.
Horatio
Nay then, my arms are large and strong withall:
Thus elms by vines are compassed till they fall.
Whoa there--that's hot. I can totally picture this staged--a playful fight using kisses and embraces as weapons or wrestling moves, the characters dancing around each other as in a fencing match, enjoying both conquering and being conquered. I mean honestly...
Hope you've enjoyed these tidbits of literary awesomeness. Over and out.
Today for Shakespeare class we are reading a play by Thomas Kyd called The Spanish Tragedy. Somehow this will relate to Shakespeare. Of course I don't know exactly what Carnike wants us to pull from this, but I'm definately pro-Kyd. (also pro-kid, but that doesn't really apply here) Some quotes...
Balthazar speaking of Bel-imperia:
But wherefore blot I Bel-imperia's name?
It is my fault, not she, that merits blame.
My feature is not to content her sight,
My words are rude and work her no delight.
The lines I send her are but harsh and ill,
Such as do drop from Pan and Marsyas' quill.
My presents are not of sufficient cost,
And being worthless all my labour's lost.
Yet might she love me for my valliancy;
Ay, but that's slandered by captivity.
Yet might she love me to content her sire;
Ay, but her reason masters his desire.
Yet might she love me as her brother's friend;
Ay, but her hopes aim at some other end.
Yet might she love me to uprear her state;
Ay, but perhaps she hopes some nobler mate.
Yet might she love me as her beauty's thrall;
Ay, but I fear she cannot love at all.
(cross-reference with the following songs "Not Pretty Enough" by Kasey Chambers and "Don't Waste Your Heart" by the Dixie Chicks) Here we have a girl-esque monologue similar to the "he said *such and such*--what does he really mean??" conversation that women tend to have, trying to interpret every slight thing a guy says or does. Here, though, Balthazar flip flops between good qualities/reasons that she might love him and circumstantial truths that would prevent that. I find this a ridiculously common battle in me--not sure if I can claim that others ever feel this way--but I'm always wondering, "what if?" when it comes to guys. Trying to be objective, I can make a list of reasons why certain guys should like me--perhaps this is prideful...but I'd like to think that it's an attempt to look honestly at myself. However, for every good thing I can think of, an equally bad trait or reason reminds me why said boy should not like me. How do you ever really know? The assumption goes, if he never shows interest, then the "bad" list of qualities must be true about me. Not that I know much about logic, but I'm pretty sure this is faulty somehow. Bring in the last line and the Dixie Chicks song--perhaps there is another reason for my singleness that has nothing to do with me. In many ways, I see myself wondering the same kinds of things here as Balthazar, although I can also relate to Bel-imperia. I fear I cannot love at all. I wonder sometimes if anyone has ever thought these things about me...because even though all the facts suggest I should be interested in certain guys, I'm not. What's up with that?? Basically no matter how you discuss, debate, or dissect it, I'm never going to understand why God has me where I am right now relationally. I think if God were to interject here, He'd say, "uh...yeah...that's the point. Chill out. Quit dwelling."
Moving on...Kyd includes this super-sexy banter between Bel-imperia and her lover, Horatio...
Bel-imperia
My heart, sweet friend, is like a ship at sea:
She wisheth port, where riding all at ease,
She may repair what stormy times have worn,
And leaning on the shore, may sing with joy
That pleasure follows pain, and bliss annoy.
Possession of thy love is th'only port,
Wherein my heart, with fears and hopes long tossed,
Each hour doth wish and long to make resort;
There to repair the joys that it hath lost,
And sitting safe, to sing Cupid's choir
That sweetest bliss is crown of love's desire
...
Let dangers go, thy war shall be with me,
But such a war as breaks no bond of peace.
Speak thou fair words, I'll cross them with fair words;
Send thou sweet looks, I'll meet them with sweet looks;
Write loving lines, I'll answer loving lines;
Give me a kiss, I'll countercheck thy kiss:
Be this our warring peace, or peaceful war.
(later we see this in action)
Horatio
Then thus begin our wars: put forth thy hand,
That it may combat with my ruder hand.
Bel-imperia
Set forth thy foot to try the push of mine.
Horatio
But first my looks shall combat against thine.
Bel-imperia
Then ward thyself: I dart this kiss at thee.
Horatio
Thus I retort the dart thou threw'st at me.
Bel-imperia
Nay then, to gain the glory of the field,
My twining arms shall yoke and make thee yield.
Horatio
Nay then, my arms are large and strong withall:
Thus elms by vines are compassed till they fall.
Whoa there--that's hot. I can totally picture this staged--a playful fight using kisses and embraces as weapons or wrestling moves, the characters dancing around each other as in a fencing match, enjoying both conquering and being conquered. I mean honestly...
Hope you've enjoyed these tidbits of literary awesomeness. Over and out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)