Who Studies When They Could Be Blogging? or, Another Adage to My Dorkdom

Kudos to Melodrama for the title-style.

Moving on to Realism...a quote from it's master, Henrik Ibsen:

"Anyone who wishes to understand me fully must know Norway."

A quote from this master, Meredith Cooper:

"Anyone who wishes to understand me fully must know Texas."

You know those obnoxious people who are always talking about where they are from and comparing everything from here to where they used to be? They're always going around saying stuff like, "Well back in Wexford, everybody is pink and filled with makeup." Or maybe, "Yeah, so in Pixley, beauty means still having all of your teeth." It's irritating because everything here is judged by some crazy-weird standard that no one you know has ever heard of...but we are all supposed to assume that we understand the small-town ranter...smile and nod, or try to interrupt and change the subject. Yeah...you know who I'm talking about.

I am that kid.

But the problem in my case is that a good 84% of what I refer to as my "Texas experience" applies only to me...and some chick named Midge that lived in the 1950s. Actually, I rather enjoy proliferating these stereotypes. Probably because I am one. Think Southern Belle-Susy Homemaker, and you've pretty much got me all summed up, which leads me to make comments like, "In Texas, they raise us to be a good wife and mother." Which isn't true. For some of the people there...

Ok...so to avoid offending any Southerners or Texans, lets just talk about me. (yeah that doesn't sound self-absorbed) But honestly, here are just a few facts from my life before LA:
* I was born going to a Baptist church where the third row on the left side of the sanctuary belonged to my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course our unit of four. The Cooper Clan ate together every Sunday after church, either at the A&M Cafeteria (where we also had a designated table) or at Pappaw's house, potluck-style.
*My Mama taught me to sew from the day I could safely hold a needle and thread. I made my first dress at age seven.
*By middle school I could properly and thoroughly clean my home as well as prepare a lovely dinner. I also began babysitting (ie: practicing for when I would become a mommy).
* In Junior High, the girls in my Bible study learned what it meant to wait for a godly man and only date with the purpose of marriage. I had a totally legit list of standards by the time I finished the 7th grade that described what I was looking for in my future husband.
* In High School I went to all four Homecoming Dances (complete with ridiculously huge mums) and three Junior-Senior Proms (including my Sophomore year where I was asked by a Junior).
* At church I did all the leadershipey stuff and sang with the band on Sunday mornings.
* Senior year I took both regular and advanced Floral Design and was chosen by my teacher to teach a workshop where I was in charge of explaining the largest and most complicated arrangement.

Honestly...who does all that stuff?? The only thing I really lacked was being head cheerleader and dating the quarterback (although I did date the soccer player, football player, preppie scholastic type, and perfect church boy...all classic choices). I came from "good stock," and performed beautifully all the duties of a perfect housewife. When I finished High School, I planned to attend Texas A&M, where I would get my MRS degree and graduate with my Aggie ring on one hand an a diamond on the other. Of course that last part never came to fruition, but I was going strong during the preparatory phase.

Now to the point of this awkward collection of thoughts--those who understand this type of upbringing get it when I say that I feel behind because I'm about to be a Junior in college and I don't know yet who I am going to marry. For some people, their hometown, neighborhood, or state don't seem to make much difference. How many people do you know that are all about Iowa pride? But at the same time, if you grew up on a corn farm, it's going to show at least a little bit, like it or not. I enjoy generalizing about Texas and the South because it's funny (at least to me), but I'm a smart kid. I know that my perspectives of growing up in the specific family and specific community within Texas where I spent 18 years of my life are not the same as everyone else's. Really, most of my friends from home don't have the same type of picture of College Station as I do. But where's the fun in representing the complete truth? Thank you Natalie Portman for putting it so well: "Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. But it's better if you do."

Therefore, I will continue to make my sarcastic generalizations as long as they continue to incite freaked-out, confused, or otherwise laughable responses from my audience. So there!! I will be starting sentences with "Well in Texas..." for the rest of my life--probably even on my death bed--so you can either get used to it or move to Canada. Of course, in Texas, we'd never even think about leaving this great nation because we are ALL proud to be Americans...