More Poetry

We had to write a poem for one of my classes. Try to guess what the subject is!

We are a sisterhood.
Rescued from the raging seas
Or ripped from our ruffled sheets
Depending on how you look at it.
Brought together.
Bought together.
Love and value adorn the heart.

The Parable of the Kid Sister Explained

Confession #1: I'm not actually going to explain what I wanted my poem to mean.

Confession #2: My scripture reference is kind of misquoted...I mean, technically I didn't put quotation marks around it, so I could blame you for making an assumption, but I see no need to start pointing fingers.

Actually, what I really want to talk about a little more is the book that I read that inspired the poem. Unhooked is not written from any certain religious perspective, but rather, the author presents her topic from a journalistic point of view. She claims that her goal in meeting with the many women she interviewed for the book was to listen to what they had to say. And they said a lot. It was fascinating to me to see in print so much of what I have observed here in college. Apparently my experiences aren't too different from many others around the US: no one dates anymore. Relationships are on the back burner until at least our late 20s. At the same time, though, our hearts and bodies long for relational connection, so many girls turn to "hooking up," an ambiguous term that can mean anything from kissing to sex, in order to momentarily satisfy. And this isn't just a secular phenomenon. I have a friend going to a Christian college who was telling me about some of their culture and lingo, saying that "nic-mo"--the "non-committal make-out"--was a popular pastime among the students there. We may not be having sex, but Christians are still hooking up on a tamer level.

So the book goes into all sorts of potential explanations for why girls are ditching relationships for hooking up, citing our e-culture, parental influence (both their advice and example), and drive to succeed in a career as possible culprits. Regardless, what struck me was the outcome of a culture driven by hooking up. Reading about "gray rape" was possibly the most disturbing--it's this idea that because a girl initiates hooking up with a guy, if things end up going further than she wanted them to, she feels responsible. She invites him back to her house, wanting only to fool around a little, he assumes they're going to have sex, she says no, he thinks she's being coy--how can she call this rape? The author argues that in a lot of cases, the girls don't want to put that label on the situation because it implies that they somehow lost control--and hooking up is about being in control of a relationship--female empowerment.

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the traditional gender roles. I love the feeling of a guy asking me out, getting all dressed up for a date, and getting to know someone new. It's just not the same when you get jazzed up with your girlfriends for the weekend's frat party at the Row, ready to go on the prowl. Yeah, it does feel powerful, but at the end of the day, I'd rather curl up with a man that I know and trust. Anyways, there were so many facets of the book that will probably come up in my writing in the future. I just can't get over how we have strayed from God's design for marriage and intimacy. As if dating wasn't difficult enough, now we hardly even do that. And I don't think I'm going to meet "the one" on the Row.

I Am Your Kid Sister

An ode to those who don't get it, and especially those that do.
Inspired by Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both by Laura Sessions Stepp

I Timothy 4:12
Above all, look down on your youth, but be an example to other believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.

I am your kid sister.
By three or four years, ten at the most
With a host of new problems that set me apart
From the heart of your issues, impurity, immaturity
That keep us from knowing each other.

My parents have taught me well,
Downplayed the story-book romances with words of wisdom about a career
And I volunteer to build homes in the city and faraway places
To fill up the spaces called vacation that elude my generation.

And I have a job while I keep up with school, but it's not a career.
So I don't understand what you feel when it's been a long day
Which is really okay since you've been where I'm at, we can chat
About me, from who I am to how I should be, call me "free"
And criticise with those eyes that say, "One day you'll grow up and know
How the hard road just gets harder when you're old."

You pat me on the head.
I'm your kid sister.
And you were just like me once.

You know what it's like to multitask the day away, keep up with friends, talk ten at a time, chase your dream, treadmill to stay lean, always running, forward, further.

You fought the enemy, all men, to break their race, found power and ownership to defeat the shame of gray rape. You chose that skirt, that top, that gaze, said "stop" but didn't cry foul when he went too far, didn't cry at all because you're strong, you win, break his heart again--walk away, bolder, colder.

You heard your parents' life stories, and learned enough from them that you don't have to seek their advice like I do when a big problem comes to you, forge ahead, bake bread, bring home the bacon, build a home, build a wall, fortified, run and hide in the sighs of remember when.

Phenomenal woman,
Teach me how to shut things off, show me how to shed my joy
I've lived like you, felt like you, but somehow missed how to quit like you.
Maybe someday I will know what weight really feels like,
The knowledge of experiences that are bound by an age requirement.
I hit the driving age, the drinking age, and someday soon, perhaps, the understanding age.
For now though, I'm not quite there
So pat me on the head, tucked into bed in pink and lace, innocent angel face.
I am your kid sister.