The Parable of the Kid Sister Explained

Confession #1: I'm not actually going to explain what I wanted my poem to mean.

Confession #2: My scripture reference is kind of misquoted...I mean, technically I didn't put quotation marks around it, so I could blame you for making an assumption, but I see no need to start pointing fingers.

Actually, what I really want to talk about a little more is the book that I read that inspired the poem. Unhooked is not written from any certain religious perspective, but rather, the author presents her topic from a journalistic point of view. She claims that her goal in meeting with the many women she interviewed for the book was to listen to what they had to say. And they said a lot. It was fascinating to me to see in print so much of what I have observed here in college. Apparently my experiences aren't too different from many others around the US: no one dates anymore. Relationships are on the back burner until at least our late 20s. At the same time, though, our hearts and bodies long for relational connection, so many girls turn to "hooking up," an ambiguous term that can mean anything from kissing to sex, in order to momentarily satisfy. And this isn't just a secular phenomenon. I have a friend going to a Christian college who was telling me about some of their culture and lingo, saying that "nic-mo"--the "non-committal make-out"--was a popular pastime among the students there. We may not be having sex, but Christians are still hooking up on a tamer level.

So the book goes into all sorts of potential explanations for why girls are ditching relationships for hooking up, citing our e-culture, parental influence (both their advice and example), and drive to succeed in a career as possible culprits. Regardless, what struck me was the outcome of a culture driven by hooking up. Reading about "gray rape" was possibly the most disturbing--it's this idea that because a girl initiates hooking up with a guy, if things end up going further than she wanted them to, she feels responsible. She invites him back to her house, wanting only to fool around a little, he assumes they're going to have sex, she says no, he thinks she's being coy--how can she call this rape? The author argues that in a lot of cases, the girls don't want to put that label on the situation because it implies that they somehow lost control--and hooking up is about being in control of a relationship--female empowerment.

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the traditional gender roles. I love the feeling of a guy asking me out, getting all dressed up for a date, and getting to know someone new. It's just not the same when you get jazzed up with your girlfriends for the weekend's frat party at the Row, ready to go on the prowl. Yeah, it does feel powerful, but at the end of the day, I'd rather curl up with a man that I know and trust. Anyways, there were so many facets of the book that will probably come up in my writing in the future. I just can't get over how we have strayed from God's design for marriage and intimacy. As if dating wasn't difficult enough, now we hardly even do that. And I don't think I'm going to meet "the one" on the Row.