Sunrise, Sunset

The funny thing about the real world is that it stops for no man. True, I got a glorious two days off this week in order to celebrate the New Year, but today it's back to the daily grind. Unfortunately for me (and any student that might seek help today), I've spent the last hours in a cold-meds-induced haze, double fisting fluids and trying to keep my head from dropping to my desk in exhaustion. A perfect way to start 2008.

Yesterday I was supposed to resolve something. I didn't. It wasn't because I forgot to do it...my day just didn't slow down enough for me to really ponder what kind of change I'd like to make. But now, with the afternoon lull in full force here at the Center, and after popping round four of Sudafed, I try to think a little before the fog sets in.

A lot of people find resolutions pointless. Mostly because they never keep them. But even though I didn't quite lose that 10 pounds I meant to shed last year, I still like the idea of starting off a new year with new goals in mind.

Goal #1: Finish off those stubborn pounds from 2007.

With the holidays finally over, I can get back to a regular work out schedule and eat like a normal human. Easy enough...but losing weight never seems like a legitimate goal. It's cliche. It's not really a one-time goal, even, achievable in a normal sense. Until I die, the basic principles of eating healthily and getting plenty of exercise will rule my body image existence. But more than anything, I don't like the idea of a weight-loss resolution because it's too simplistic. Not that I necessarily expect to achieve it, but conceptually, it's not hard to drop pounds. You just have to want it bad enough and discipline yourself to do it. And I don't. Still, if I were to wish for the drive to really accomplish one thing this year, losing weight probably wouldn't be it. Granted, it would be nice to look camera-ready at all times, but I guess there are a few other important things that would beat it to the top of the list.

I wonder if part of the reason people like New Year's resolutions is because it gives them something to strive for. Though mine's definitely not a dead-end, Office Space-type job, it's much more of an end than all the means that have led up to it. In a lot of ways, I feel like I'm sitting pretty here. I've accomplished many of the goals that lead up to my place in the real world--getting into college, graduating from college, and so forth. At this point, my ends more than meet--they overlap actually (perhaps only since I am still in the grace period before I start to pay back school loans)--and I don't really have plans to climb the ladder. When I was younger, I used to do a New Year's evaluation, taking stock of my life in several categories--intellectual, spiritual, relational, etc, etc. It turns into a fairly epic journal entry in which I describe things I did well through the year and areas in which I'd like to improve. The unspoken resolutions I make, then, are directly translated from the I Wish I'ds of the year before. As usual, there are plenty of areas of my life that could use some dusting, and rather than wait for the Groundhog to announce the time for spring cleaning, I figure now's as good as ever to start airing things out.

My eyes get heavy. I'd like to blame it on the medicine, but I'm fairly sure that the daunting task of listing my faults is what really inspires my fatigue. The burning paper-cut on my right ring finger is distracting. My tea is now lukewarm. A student wants help on her essay.

Another day, another year...

On Monday I watched the last sun of 2007 set over the ocean. Being on the West coast, where the day ends and the sun dies, I feel my age all the more. 2008 starts to settle in my bones as I wonder if the year ahead could possibly bring as much change as the one preceding it. Out of respect for the older and wiser, I'm through lamenting how ancient I feel. In truth, I've actually felt pretty young lately. But, regardless, I am constantly amazed when I think back over the years gone by. On the cusp of yet another, I am easily nostalgic and perhaps equally hopeful as I look to what '08 has in store--the course my life will take and the ways it will change me forever.