Trippy...

I really like it when I read or hear something from a mature, godly, and well-respected man, encouraging other men to be men. It's good for three reasons:

1) I have no clue how to encourage men, and even if I had some good things to say--why would they listen to me? I'm a woman..

2) I'm too busy trying to figure out what it means to be a godly woman (and actually put that into practice) to fret over what, Biblically, makes a man a man.

3) It gives a nice overview/summary of what kinds of things I should actually be looking for.

When life gets busy and the world's influence starts blurring my vision, it's nice to be set straight once again. I remember hearing this stuff in Jr. High, but it's good to bring it back up so I can sort through what I still believe to be Biblical. Maybe this warrants an example: I used to think that it was best to avoid holding hands for at least a month or so into a relationship because it would lead me down a spiraling, evil path to !!SEX!! *cue demonic underscoring sound effect* Clearly, I should delay physical contact as long as humanly possible. Now, as an adult, I figure those kinds of rules are a little extreme--though perhaps they were a good idea when I was dealing with hormonal 13 year old boys (glad those days are through). Unfortunately, sometimes I lump together everything that I learned about dating in Jr. High as outdated. Still, when I think back to all those things we talked about when I signed my "True Love Waits" pledge, I remember how carefully they tried to make sure we understood that these ideas came not from arbitrary life experiences or personal advice, but hard and fast Scriptural truth. And when I pull out my "official" list of Standards, they weren't actually half bad--albeit, a little lofty for a pre-teen--but I was right to want someone who pursued godliness, who liked kids and would be a good father, who had goals and aspirations and would be a good provider for me and our family. It can be easy to ashamedly groan over the over-Christianized, Bible belt stereotype that I was at that age. But I certainly hope my embarrassment doesn't cause me to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Mostly, it just means I end up having to "re-learn" all sorts of spiritual truths that were plain as punch to my southern self at 14. Eh, I guess I'm coming along. It's all a part of the process...when it Rome, you know? Life's a journey and there's no I in team...

Anyways, all this to say--I ran into an article that lays out 13 "Marks of Manhood" (don't let the big number scare you; it's worth the read). Given my recent fascination for creating a cost-benefit analysis of marriage, here's just one tidbit that stood out to me:

"True masculinity is not a matter of exhibiting supposedly masculine characteristics devoid of the context of responsibility. In the Bible, a man is called to fulfill his role as husband and father. Unless granted the gift of celibacy for gospel service, the Christian boy is to aim for marriage and fatherhood. This is assuredly a counter-cultural assertion, but the role of husband and father is central to manhood. Marriage is unparalleled in its effect on men, as it channels their energies and directs their responsibilities to the devoted covenant of marriage and the grace-filled civilization of the family. They must aspire to be the kind of man a Christian woman would gladly marry and children will trust, respect, and obey."

Oh and this one too...

"In these days, biblical manhood requires great courage. The prevailing ideologies and worldviews of this age are inherently hostile to Christian truth and are corrosive to Christian faithfulness. It takes great courage for a boy to commit himself to sexual purity and for a man to devote himself unreservedly to his wife. It takes great courage to say no to what this culture insists are the rightful pleasures and delights of the flesh. It takes courage to serve as a godly husband and father, to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It takes courage to maintain personal integrity in a world that devalues the truth, disparages God's word, and promises self-fulfillment and happiness only through the assertion of undiluted personal autonomy. A man's true confidence is rooted in the wells of courage, and courage is evidence of character."

Hmm...must continue my research...