Weasels, Work Husbands, and The Emotional Affair

"So what, exactly, constitutes an emotional affair – and are you having one without even knowing it?"

One of those dramatic opening lines intended to get you reading an article, this one's a tricky question--something I've come across before, but never really in relation to me, personally. I'm single, after all, so I cannot have an affair since I have no one to cheat on. Yet, as I was perusing some articles online this morning, this question struck me. In the last six months or so, God has had me mulling over ideas of weasels, friends with benefits, and other such sordid affairs. The hook-up culture, which I've talked about a lot before, goes beyond just the physical, especially within Christian circles. In the church, we will obviously (I hope) avoid the random sexual encounters with others that permeate our culture, but it's those close friendships that I think are much trickier. And when you label it "affair," suddenly it seems a lot more serious. My gut reaction is to begin questioning each one of my relationships--how am I supposed to be godly if my interactions with men are inappropriate? Resolved, I should avoid male friends altogether.

My Dad, I think, disagrees: "Mere, you really should just enjoy the friendships you have for what they are." He means, "Stop being a drama queen." And he's right. I should definitely add that to my To Do list. But there's still something to be said for guarding my heart--an idea that both he and any of my other confidants would support. So there's the rub: at what point are friends dangerous?

Someone wise gave me this definition: if you're looking to the person for validation, to fill any sort of void, then it's not a healthy relationship. I guess it has a lot to do with attitude...leaving me with a couple of options. The quick fix is to avoid interaction altogether. But on the whole, I know that it's my heart that needs some changing.

Anyways, for your reading pleasure, this is the article about emotional affairs, and here is another interesting one about the "work husband." Not super keen on all of their advice, but it's something to start chewing.