Yes, that's right friends. Meredith is down and out with some semblance of illness. It's not meningitis according to the nice ladies at the USC health center, but whatever it is, it requires three different prescriptions medicines, lots of fluid, plenty of rest (ha!), and neck-focused physical therapy, which I also am not doing. The first two of four isn't bad I figure. Granted, I walk around in a perpetual state of light-headedness and an overwhelming need to pee...but I won't go there. Mostly because I just took my muscle relaxer pill and I hope to finish this post before my fingers go or my head flops over, leaving me in a immobile puddle on my floor.
There've been a couple of things on my mind that I am hoping to write more about--the most recent of which is a rant about how I always seem to rant when I post stuff on here. Yes, a bit of irony, I know...but I was thinking this morning about how I should take the time to share here about some of the neat stuff that I am reading in the Bible and the cool epiphanies I've had during my chats with God. So hopefully you will see a bit more of that.
Also, we are at the point in the semester in my playwriting class where we begin developing a rough draft of the scene we want to present for the final. This class has been a really interesting experience of self-discovery. I've explored some places in my writing that were difficult to delve into, but I want to share some of my writing along with the things I am learning about releasing my inner playwrite.
And, as an appropriate finale, I am working through a new man-theory: recently a couple of people have thrown around the phrase, "I just need to man-up and *insert manly action here.*" While I am all about encouraging and affirming guys as they learn and practice what it means to be a man, I think that sometimes "manning-up" can often be for the benefit of others. Yes, I'm talking about dating and the "grow a pair, ask girls out" philosophy, but guys, don't judge me too quickly. I want to take a look at how women fit into this picture. And not to let the entire cat out of the bag, I'll leave you with a glimpse of paw: I'm working with a new term, something to the effect of what it means to "woman-up" or perhaps more appropriately, "woman-down." Feminists prepare your fire pits because you might want to burn me after this one...alas I love stirring up controversy, so hopefully I'll get around to this one sooner rather than later.
As always, comments are welcome--in fact, if you hound me via the comments section, it might help motivate me to ward off the muscle relaxer for a few extra minutes some night.
Showing posts with label theories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label theories. Show all posts
Friday, October 27, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Is it Possible That I Have Life All Figured Out...Or Has Optimism Devoured a Chunk of my Brain?
This is it. I think I finally hit on something here. I mean, I might be able to retire from the blogosphere due to the brilliance of what I am about to tell you.
Ok maybe not...but I did have another one of my episodes--an "epiphany" of sorts, which I put in quotes because these theories, thoughts, or whatever you want to call them strike me with momentary brilliance like some sort of epileptic seizure. (I'm pretty sure the scientific inaccuracy of that analogy completely disqualifies me from any claim to being politically correct; thus, I beg your forgiveness.)
So let's get to the root of all of this: I'm going to blameshift a bit via citing the sources that motivated my recent ponderings. First is Brian Colmery, 1/2 of the Shoreline Pastor Team and recently discovered master of the balance beam. In yesterday's sermon, the point he made that struck the deepest in me was the idea (which if you listen to his articulation of this concept will make much more sense) that we, humans, prefer to control our own lives as much as possible. Now if you really think about this, it's kind of a dumb idea because we aren't so much in charge of the universe, but we still try to direct our own story as much as possible. Hold this thought as we move to culprit number two: Chrissie Wanke. I call her into question since she heads up our Monday night Bible study. Really, the entire group might be to blame, but it was Chrissie that posed again to us the question Colmery asked from atop a makeshift gymnastics beam: what is it you worry about? What are you trying to control? Where aside from God do you seek security?
Huh...well my mind immediately goes to the two big daddy's: money and men (this really ought to read money and boys, but I felt like working the two M's bit, at the cost of suggesting actual maturity in the males I deal with) I listened to the sermon again this morning in order to prepare for what we might discuss tonight, and I really tried to think about where I seek security. I came to a roadblock. Money? Well...I seemed ok with everything this summer, even though things were a bit tight. But now that I'm a little more financially comfortable, I wonder if I seek security in this. Granted, this is coming from the girl who thinks it would be fun to pack my stuff in a storage unit come my August graduation and just be homeless for a little while because it would be cool to see God really give me this day my daily bread. Contemplating the irresponsibility involved and the fact that this might be testing God in the same way that Satan asks Jesus to jump off a building so the angels can catch him, I probably will not follow through. But I digress...money doesn't seem like a big deal to me because I know that I'll be able to figure things out if push comes to shove (and by "I" what I really mean is God working in me). If money runs out, I'll get a job. If I can't make rent, I'll live in a crappier apartment. This seems so simple to me because I know that if things start to get hard, God will either pull me through or teach me to readjust my means. Non-issue.
I explained this tonight to the girls. Then in classic Meredith fashion, I plowed into my next topic without filtering it through any sort of thought process. What came into my head then directly out of my mouth was this: I don't really think I struggle with trying to control the guy thing. And I don't know if that's because I've somewhere along the line genuinely learned to trust God for that or if I just finally realized that I never had control to begin with (girl's don't pursue, right?) so it was less about "giving it to God" and more about facing the facts. And is thinking about boys all the time the same thing as trying to control that area of my life?
The conversation moved on, but my mind kept working these things out. What do I really seek to control? Where do I find security? Earlier today at work I was teaching my students how to solve basic algebraic equations. I tried to explain that the concept itself was simple. Yes, they will eventually get to much more complicated problems that look harder and take more time, but the basic idea of solving for "x" will be the same every time. Remembering this after Bible study, I felt like I had stumbled upon the secret of life. What if all of this really is that simple. x + 4 = 7, therefore x = 3. I never have to stress because God has it figured out. I mean, isn't this really what Paul means when he says in Philippians not to be anxious about anything? In a way, life really is that simple. Even though it's not. A blanket statement like that obviously begs all sorts of questions: what is the difference between being anxious, cautious, apathetic, or hard working? How do you know where God is leading you in life? Can you trust emotions? And so on and so on.
So I started to break things down: first with money. God's provided in the past. I have never starved. I fully trust that some sort of paycheck or kind gift will get me through if I find myself in a bind. This one may actually be the easiest to dismiss.
Second, what do I want to be when I grow up? Apparently I'm supposed to grow up next August when I graduate from SC. However, what I've come to realize, which is now the "it" idea moving through campuses nationwide, is that it's ok not to have life figured out when you graduate. I can pick different types of careers and jobs--do one thing for a while and switch around as I feel God leading. Granted, I'll have bills to pay, but this goes back to point number one.
Now there's only one big issue that could trump all of these: boys. Anyone who's read five lines of anything I've written can tell that this may very well be the most vulnerable area of my life, and Satan's sweet spot when he wants to take me out of the game. I willingly admit, if I've got control issues, or any other issues for that matter, they probably factor in somehow to the way I view men. But even here, things seem kind of simple. Actually, I recently started a draft of a post that I had titled "Am I Really Still Looking?" where I discuss the simplicity of finding a husband. Literally. I'm working through the idea that I may have dating down to an art. There is a short list of men that I could name right now that I would marry on the spot if they asked me to meet them at the courthouse (provided I knew where it was). I even made myself an acronym to describe such a match, which also serves to prove my fluency in Christianese and all things cheesy: ChAP, which stands for character, attraction, and pursuit. The idea goes that when I find a man of genuine, Godly character (this of course requires some further definition which I won't get into now), who I am attracted to and compatible with, and who pursues a relationship with me, then I am ready to marry him. I know that this makes quite a few people either roll their eyes and pity my innocence or want to stone me for suggesting that it's so easy. And really, I understand that it's not. But maybe it is. I mean, I would eventually like to marry and have a family. I think many of my motivations may actually be pure in this: I want to be able to serve and love another person within the intimacy that only a husband and wife can share. I'd like to raise my children in a Godly, loving home. And I hope to minister to other women in many different life stages and know how God can uniquely minister to His people with my husband and I as a unit, instead of two individuals. Knowing this, knowing what it means to have Godly character, and knowing (though this may be where my process is least evolved) when I am attracted to someone, it seems that taking the leap into a marriage isn't so scary. The thing is--and this is where everything ties together--you learn as you go. Follow God. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. And all these things will be added unto you...just like the verse, just like the song. I already know that marriage will have ups and downs, and some really difficult downs at that, but I also know that it is a commitment I want to make when I find someone worth making that commitment to (and believe me, if you had any idea the kinds of men on my list, you wouldn't worry about me jumping into things too fast). In marriage, you commit to another person what is also a commitment to God, and if you follow Him, He provides security. In jobs and money, you follow God, and He provides security. Follow God, get security. Done and done.
Now, in light of this intensive rant, I almost feel the need to add a paragraph in which I confess all of my deep, dirty sins, lest any of my readers be tempted to think that I am somehow SuperChristianGirl. I have for sure got plenty of yuck in my life. And I can very clearly attest to the fact that life isn't simple when you break it down. I'm still learning all of this, and trying to remember who God is, compared to me, so that my pride won't explode out of control. There's lots of question-begging that I'm sure will fill pages and pages of blog posts in the years to come, and I know I'll probably do all sorts of stupid things that completely contradict what I've written. I'll likely go out with a few more schmucks before I get married and have a break-down over financial issues. This is why I like the Shoreline Women's mantra: the pursuit of progress, not perfection. Yet, I actually find some comfort in knowing that the big picture isn't so complicated after all, especially if you are God and your thinking far surpasses that of any human.
I think God finds my blog kind of funny.
Ok maybe not...but I did have another one of my episodes--an "epiphany" of sorts, which I put in quotes because these theories, thoughts, or whatever you want to call them strike me with momentary brilliance like some sort of epileptic seizure. (I'm pretty sure the scientific inaccuracy of that analogy completely disqualifies me from any claim to being politically correct; thus, I beg your forgiveness.)
So let's get to the root of all of this: I'm going to blameshift a bit via citing the sources that motivated my recent ponderings. First is Brian Colmery, 1/2 of the Shoreline Pastor Team and recently discovered master of the balance beam. In yesterday's sermon, the point he made that struck the deepest in me was the idea (which if you listen to his articulation of this concept will make much more sense) that we, humans, prefer to control our own lives as much as possible. Now if you really think about this, it's kind of a dumb idea because we aren't so much in charge of the universe, but we still try to direct our own story as much as possible. Hold this thought as we move to culprit number two: Chrissie Wanke. I call her into question since she heads up our Monday night Bible study. Really, the entire group might be to blame, but it was Chrissie that posed again to us the question Colmery asked from atop a makeshift gymnastics beam: what is it you worry about? What are you trying to control? Where aside from God do you seek security?
Huh...well my mind immediately goes to the two big daddy's: money and men (this really ought to read money and boys, but I felt like working the two M's bit, at the cost of suggesting actual maturity in the males I deal with) I listened to the sermon again this morning in order to prepare for what we might discuss tonight, and I really tried to think about where I seek security. I came to a roadblock. Money? Well...I seemed ok with everything this summer, even though things were a bit tight. But now that I'm a little more financially comfortable, I wonder if I seek security in this. Granted, this is coming from the girl who thinks it would be fun to pack my stuff in a storage unit come my August graduation and just be homeless for a little while because it would be cool to see God really give me this day my daily bread. Contemplating the irresponsibility involved and the fact that this might be testing God in the same way that Satan asks Jesus to jump off a building so the angels can catch him, I probably will not follow through. But I digress...money doesn't seem like a big deal to me because I know that I'll be able to figure things out if push comes to shove (and by "I" what I really mean is God working in me). If money runs out, I'll get a job. If I can't make rent, I'll live in a crappier apartment. This seems so simple to me because I know that if things start to get hard, God will either pull me through or teach me to readjust my means. Non-issue.
I explained this tonight to the girls. Then in classic Meredith fashion, I plowed into my next topic without filtering it through any sort of thought process. What came into my head then directly out of my mouth was this: I don't really think I struggle with trying to control the guy thing. And I don't know if that's because I've somewhere along the line genuinely learned to trust God for that or if I just finally realized that I never had control to begin with (girl's don't pursue, right?) so it was less about "giving it to God" and more about facing the facts. And is thinking about boys all the time the same thing as trying to control that area of my life?
The conversation moved on, but my mind kept working these things out. What do I really seek to control? Where do I find security? Earlier today at work I was teaching my students how to solve basic algebraic equations. I tried to explain that the concept itself was simple. Yes, they will eventually get to much more complicated problems that look harder and take more time, but the basic idea of solving for "x" will be the same every time. Remembering this after Bible study, I felt like I had stumbled upon the secret of life. What if all of this really is that simple. x + 4 = 7, therefore x = 3. I never have to stress because God has it figured out. I mean, isn't this really what Paul means when he says in Philippians not to be anxious about anything? In a way, life really is that simple. Even though it's not. A blanket statement like that obviously begs all sorts of questions: what is the difference between being anxious, cautious, apathetic, or hard working? How do you know where God is leading you in life? Can you trust emotions? And so on and so on.
So I started to break things down: first with money. God's provided in the past. I have never starved. I fully trust that some sort of paycheck or kind gift will get me through if I find myself in a bind. This one may actually be the easiest to dismiss.
Second, what do I want to be when I grow up? Apparently I'm supposed to grow up next August when I graduate from SC. However, what I've come to realize, which is now the "it" idea moving through campuses nationwide, is that it's ok not to have life figured out when you graduate. I can pick different types of careers and jobs--do one thing for a while and switch around as I feel God leading. Granted, I'll have bills to pay, but this goes back to point number one.
Now there's only one big issue that could trump all of these: boys. Anyone who's read five lines of anything I've written can tell that this may very well be the most vulnerable area of my life, and Satan's sweet spot when he wants to take me out of the game. I willingly admit, if I've got control issues, or any other issues for that matter, they probably factor in somehow to the way I view men. But even here, things seem kind of simple. Actually, I recently started a draft of a post that I had titled "Am I Really Still Looking?" where I discuss the simplicity of finding a husband. Literally. I'm working through the idea that I may have dating down to an art. There is a short list of men that I could name right now that I would marry on the spot if they asked me to meet them at the courthouse (provided I knew where it was). I even made myself an acronym to describe such a match, which also serves to prove my fluency in Christianese and all things cheesy: ChAP, which stands for character, attraction, and pursuit. The idea goes that when I find a man of genuine, Godly character (this of course requires some further definition which I won't get into now), who I am attracted to and compatible with, and who pursues a relationship with me, then I am ready to marry him. I know that this makes quite a few people either roll their eyes and pity my innocence or want to stone me for suggesting that it's so easy. And really, I understand that it's not. But maybe it is. I mean, I would eventually like to marry and have a family. I think many of my motivations may actually be pure in this: I want to be able to serve and love another person within the intimacy that only a husband and wife can share. I'd like to raise my children in a Godly, loving home. And I hope to minister to other women in many different life stages and know how God can uniquely minister to His people with my husband and I as a unit, instead of two individuals. Knowing this, knowing what it means to have Godly character, and knowing (though this may be where my process is least evolved) when I am attracted to someone, it seems that taking the leap into a marriage isn't so scary. The thing is--and this is where everything ties together--you learn as you go. Follow God. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. And all these things will be added unto you...just like the verse, just like the song. I already know that marriage will have ups and downs, and some really difficult downs at that, but I also know that it is a commitment I want to make when I find someone worth making that commitment to (and believe me, if you had any idea the kinds of men on my list, you wouldn't worry about me jumping into things too fast). In marriage, you commit to another person what is also a commitment to God, and if you follow Him, He provides security. In jobs and money, you follow God, and He provides security. Follow God, get security. Done and done.
Now, in light of this intensive rant, I almost feel the need to add a paragraph in which I confess all of my deep, dirty sins, lest any of my readers be tempted to think that I am somehow SuperChristianGirl. I have for sure got plenty of yuck in my life. And I can very clearly attest to the fact that life isn't simple when you break it down. I'm still learning all of this, and trying to remember who God is, compared to me, so that my pride won't explode out of control. There's lots of question-begging that I'm sure will fill pages and pages of blog posts in the years to come, and I know I'll probably do all sorts of stupid things that completely contradict what I've written. I'll likely go out with a few more schmucks before I get married and have a break-down over financial issues. This is why I like the Shoreline Women's mantra: the pursuit of progress, not perfection. Yet, I actually find some comfort in knowing that the big picture isn't so complicated after all, especially if you are God and your thinking far surpasses that of any human.
I think God finds my blog kind of funny.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
What About Baggage?
I almost hate to mention what spurred this post...but my desire to seem professional motivates citing this source...
I receive the eHarmony newsletter via email.
Whew...I'm glad I got that off my chest. In all honesty, I swear it's because I filled out one of those free personality profiles one night when I was bored...and now they send me stuff in my email, and I'm too lazy to ask them to stop. This particular issue caught my eye because it had several dating/relationship articles that I thought sounded interesting. Being the aspiring relationship guru that I am, I opted to peruse Dimensions (this is what they call their little bit of literary whatnot). After I finished an article titled "The Ex Files: How to Get Over Your Baggage and Get On with Your Life," I started to wonder if this "Dr. Warren" really knew what he was talking about. I'm a huge skeptic to begin with, and no amount of couples' success stories is really going to convince me that I should listen to his babbling.
Yet. This topic is very close to my heart. My dad and I have had many a discussion about "what is it about women and holding on to their baggage for dear life?" After hours of yapping, the best conclusion we've come up with is that women are spaghetti and men are waffles. This, according to my dad, is the newest catch-phrase--taking the ideas of Venus and Mars to a whole new level. I'll venture a tangent to explain: men compartmentalize. They have all these little squares of syrup and none of them have to mingle with any of the others. Women, however, are spaghetti because anything you add to the mix gets all sorts of gunked up on everything else (this explanation is especially potent with my accompanying hand motions, but you'll have to do without them for now). Anyways, point being, if a woman has hurt in her past, she can't seem to confine it to one noodle. Sauce gets all up in all the noodles. And you can't just start throwing stuff out or you'd have no noodles left, which only further encourages your anorexia, also not a good thing. Besides, this whole "packing analogy" is really difficult for me. I mean, if you've ever seen me at the airport, you know that I am anything but low maintenance. Every time I travel, I plan to downsize some, but it never seems to come to fruition. And now with all these anti-liquid regulations, transporting my lip-gloss collection is more complicated than ever. Still, I do see a glimmer of hope: my travel rule is "Never pack more than you can carry." Testing proves that there is a direct correlation (excuse the science-talk, I just finished my lab report) between my increasing buffness and the amount of baggage I can truck around with.
Alas, according to Dr. eHarms, baggage is something that can be organized, downsized, and eventually eliminated. According to my dad, you should just get over it. In other words--baggage can be sectioned off, cut neatly, and swallowed with a glass of milk. Which is all fine and dandy if you are a waffle.
On behalf of all the spaghetti in the world, I propose that we get a second opinion...from a chick. Sure, the article has some awesome ideas for learning what it means to understand your past and the effect it has on you. Yes, people should recognize the hurt for what it is, forgive, and put it behind them. But this isn't a case for getting rid of baggage altogether. In a kind of sick but also charming way, your baggage helps make you the way you are. It doesn't have to be all that bad. Here's some additional hints that I would add to Dr. Warren's five-point plan:
1. Pack efficiently: sort through all the crap you've got and figure out how to organize it just a bit. Rolling clothes instead of just folding and piling them is an army trick I got from a friend of mine. Know what kind of crap you have and see if you can arrange it in a way to make it make a bit more sense.
2. Downsize what you can: a little of me dies inside when I say this, but three different kinds of lip gloss will be plenty for the road ahead. And toss the hair appliances--go for the wet-hair look. It's hot right now.
3. Hit the gym: if you've got a lot of crap to haul, better buff up those arms and shoulders. Go with what you got--God hasn't given us more than we can handle, right?
Now this all brings me to a final ThoughtRantTangent (check that--combining three words instead of just two): I may actually be entering the life-stage where I don't hate on hook-up websites. Last weekend, while watching 10 Things I Hate About You on TV (where they bleep out words...which I always find slightly distracting and rather amusing) with my friend Katie and two of my roommates, a commercial for eHarmony came on the television. Alli spoke up: "You guys--we are the demographic they are catering to...the pathetic, single women watching movies on TV on a Friday night." According to the other commercials, we are also single mothers (kids' toys ad) and fat (Weight Watchers). Kind of depressing, really. But I don't think that you have to be ridiculously loserish to glean from the dating advice and methods of others. Last summer I read a book called How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, which I pre-judged as the most un-Christian dating book ever. My post-judgment came out opposite. The book has a lot of good ideas about viewing dating as a normal part of making friendly connections with people--instead of as the scary monster we've turned it into. I think eHarmony and it's competitors are on to something similar: it's O K to meet new people and get to know them. In today's world, courtship can't work like it used to because your parents (or you) can't do the intensive background check that was once possible. You, likely, didn't grow up around these people. Dating or the websites that promote it are a form of "background check" in a social situation. Not to take away all the romance of relationships, but doing a bit of research on the subject before your let your emotions get carried away is a pretty good preventative strategy for keeping the baggage count low.
My last thoughts: love God and keep traveling. Happy trails!
I receive the eHarmony newsletter via email.
Whew...I'm glad I got that off my chest. In all honesty, I swear it's because I filled out one of those free personality profiles one night when I was bored...and now they send me stuff in my email, and I'm too lazy to ask them to stop. This particular issue caught my eye because it had several dating/relationship articles that I thought sounded interesting. Being the aspiring relationship guru that I am, I opted to peruse Dimensions (this is what they call their little bit of literary whatnot). After I finished an article titled "The Ex Files: How to Get Over Your Baggage and Get On with Your Life," I started to wonder if this "Dr. Warren" really knew what he was talking about. I'm a huge skeptic to begin with, and no amount of couples' success stories is really going to convince me that I should listen to his babbling.
Yet. This topic is very close to my heart. My dad and I have had many a discussion about "what is it about women and holding on to their baggage for dear life?" After hours of yapping, the best conclusion we've come up with is that women are spaghetti and men are waffles. This, according to my dad, is the newest catch-phrase--taking the ideas of Venus and Mars to a whole new level. I'll venture a tangent to explain: men compartmentalize. They have all these little squares of syrup and none of them have to mingle with any of the others. Women, however, are spaghetti because anything you add to the mix gets all sorts of gunked up on everything else (this explanation is especially potent with my accompanying hand motions, but you'll have to do without them for now). Anyways, point being, if a woman has hurt in her past, she can't seem to confine it to one noodle. Sauce gets all up in all the noodles. And you can't just start throwing stuff out or you'd have no noodles left, which only further encourages your anorexia, also not a good thing. Besides, this whole "packing analogy" is really difficult for me. I mean, if you've ever seen me at the airport, you know that I am anything but low maintenance. Every time I travel, I plan to downsize some, but it never seems to come to fruition. And now with all these anti-liquid regulations, transporting my lip-gloss collection is more complicated than ever. Still, I do see a glimmer of hope: my travel rule is "Never pack more than you can carry." Testing proves that there is a direct correlation (excuse the science-talk, I just finished my lab report) between my increasing buffness and the amount of baggage I can truck around with.
Alas, according to Dr. eHarms, baggage is something that can be organized, downsized, and eventually eliminated. According to my dad, you should just get over it. In other words--baggage can be sectioned off, cut neatly, and swallowed with a glass of milk. Which is all fine and dandy if you are a waffle.
On behalf of all the spaghetti in the world, I propose that we get a second opinion...from a chick. Sure, the article has some awesome ideas for learning what it means to understand your past and the effect it has on you. Yes, people should recognize the hurt for what it is, forgive, and put it behind them. But this isn't a case for getting rid of baggage altogether. In a kind of sick but also charming way, your baggage helps make you the way you are. It doesn't have to be all that bad. Here's some additional hints that I would add to Dr. Warren's five-point plan:
1. Pack efficiently: sort through all the crap you've got and figure out how to organize it just a bit. Rolling clothes instead of just folding and piling them is an army trick I got from a friend of mine. Know what kind of crap you have and see if you can arrange it in a way to make it make a bit more sense.
2. Downsize what you can: a little of me dies inside when I say this, but three different kinds of lip gloss will be plenty for the road ahead. And toss the hair appliances--go for the wet-hair look. It's hot right now.
3. Hit the gym: if you've got a lot of crap to haul, better buff up those arms and shoulders. Go with what you got--God hasn't given us more than we can handle, right?
Now this all brings me to a final ThoughtRantTangent (check that--combining three words instead of just two): I may actually be entering the life-stage where I don't hate on hook-up websites. Last weekend, while watching 10 Things I Hate About You on TV (where they bleep out words...which I always find slightly distracting and rather amusing) with my friend Katie and two of my roommates, a commercial for eHarmony came on the television. Alli spoke up: "You guys--we are the demographic they are catering to...the pathetic, single women watching movies on TV on a Friday night." According to the other commercials, we are also single mothers (kids' toys ad) and fat (Weight Watchers). Kind of depressing, really. But I don't think that you have to be ridiculously loserish to glean from the dating advice and methods of others. Last summer I read a book called How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, which I pre-judged as the most un-Christian dating book ever. My post-judgment came out opposite. The book has a lot of good ideas about viewing dating as a normal part of making friendly connections with people--instead of as the scary monster we've turned it into. I think eHarmony and it's competitors are on to something similar: it's O K to meet new people and get to know them. In today's world, courtship can't work like it used to because your parents (or you) can't do the intensive background check that was once possible. You, likely, didn't grow up around these people. Dating or the websites that promote it are a form of "background check" in a social situation. Not to take away all the romance of relationships, but doing a bit of research on the subject before your let your emotions get carried away is a pretty good preventative strategy for keeping the baggage count low.
My last thoughts: love God and keep traveling. Happy trails!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Am I really making life analogies about hair products...?
So yesterday while I was dying my hair (back to dark brown) I had a dramatic epiphany about my life. It was time to rinse and I stepped in the shower, and casually noticed my corner of shampoo, conditioners, body wash and so on. Right now, I'm in transition of shampoo and conditioner...I'm finishing off the last of the VO5 shampoo (conditioner is already gone...I go through it faster) and have already started on the new bottle of Fructis conditioner. I basically get a different kind of shampoo and conditioner each time I go to the store...depending on if something is on sale, if I have a coupon...or if it just seems to look particularly nice that day. This is when it hits me...I've discovered why I can't seem to commit to a real relationship with a guy...why my life always seems full of boy drama that never seems to actually go anywhere but in circles. I can't even commit to a shampoo. Or a haircolor for that matter. I like change. I like to try new things. I get bored and move on to another brand, another color, another anything.
This is a bad strategy to have with boys.
"Trying on" a lot of different guys like so many pairs of shoes is generally frowned upon in Christian circles, and since that is the pool from which I would prefer to date, this leaves me relatively up a creek. And it's not that I don't intend to buy a pair eventually...it's just that they are always a little too tall or short...not quite the perfect color...straps are just a bit wide or thin--something is always just enough off that I don't really want them. So I keep trying on different ones. I finish off the bottle of one brand of shampoo and move on to the next one that looks interesting. It's like some sort of sick cycle.
So it's at this moment, when I start to feel relatively emo, that all of a sudden I see a light at the end of the tunnel: my hair gel. Fructis Style Curl Shaping Spray Gel, to be exact. I discovered this stuff some time last year, and we totally clicked. It works exactly like I want it to whenever I am scrunching my hair. We meshed. We bonded. And now I don't buy any other product. Even though I have an occasional bad hair day with the stuff, I am still 100% committed to FSCSSG. We are living happily ever after.
All that to say, I am now confident that I do not have commitment issues. I just haven't found the right shampoo yet.
Or hair color.
...or boy.
But I suppose I don't mind much. I think hair gel is a good start.
This is a bad strategy to have with boys.
"Trying on" a lot of different guys like so many pairs of shoes is generally frowned upon in Christian circles, and since that is the pool from which I would prefer to date, this leaves me relatively up a creek. And it's not that I don't intend to buy a pair eventually...it's just that they are always a little too tall or short...not quite the perfect color...straps are just a bit wide or thin--something is always just enough off that I don't really want them. So I keep trying on different ones. I finish off the bottle of one brand of shampoo and move on to the next one that looks interesting. It's like some sort of sick cycle.
So it's at this moment, when I start to feel relatively emo, that all of a sudden I see a light at the end of the tunnel: my hair gel. Fructis Style Curl Shaping Spray Gel, to be exact. I discovered this stuff some time last year, and we totally clicked. It works exactly like I want it to whenever I am scrunching my hair. We meshed. We bonded. And now I don't buy any other product. Even though I have an occasional bad hair day with the stuff, I am still 100% committed to FSCSSG. We are living happily ever after.
All that to say, I am now confident that I do not have commitment issues. I just haven't found the right shampoo yet.
Or hair color.
...or boy.
But I suppose I don't mind much. I think hair gel is a good start.
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