"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love..."

Relentless, like a child, I am learning to ask, "why?"

In the past week or so, I've bitten back the urge to admit that I really need some encouragement. I hate that the seeming identity of a woman is marred by her nagging infatuation with being validated. And so, I find my desire to be built up quite deplorable, as it seems to be on par with the short skirts and bar scene where I would vie for the attention of a man to assure myself of worth. I'm finding a deep dissatisfaction with the excuse, "that's just how women are," and wish I could pick God's brain over a pint. What is Biblical when it comes to the identity of a woman, or the identity of a person in general? Where is the logical explanation for my actions? And if there is something inherently sinful about my behavior, despite whether it is "natural," should I not therefore take all measures to root it out?

The question: why do I need to be encouraged? Is this really a need or some selfish crutch on which I've learned to lean for support?

The book of Acts, and consequently the epistles of the New Testament, are full of examples of Jesus' disciples and followers traveling to early churches and offering encouragement for the believers there:

"And when [the believers in Antioch] had read [the letter], they rejoiced because of its encouragement. And Judas and Silas, who were themselves prophets, encouraged and strengthened the brothers with many words." (Acts 15:31-32, see also 16:40, 18:27, 20:1-2)

In lieu of his being able to come to the churches directly, Paul's letters also function to encourage believers. Though full of instruction and rebuke, Paul opens by reminding the believers of their identity (often calling them "saints," which is to say, made holy in Christ) and how, specifically he has been encouraged by hearing about them. (Eph. 1:15-16, 1 Cor. 1:4-8, 2 Tim. 1:3-7)

In Romans, Paul expresses a desire that they "would be mutually encouraged by each other's faith" (1:12), then later exhorts them to look toward scripture for their hope, hope in a God who is identified as a source of endurance and encouragement:

"For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Rom 15:4-6).

In 1 Thessalonians, Paul explains that because the end is drawing near, we should be encouraging each other with the hope of Christ's second coming (4:18). He then explains that since the Day of the Lord is coming, we should not sleep, but prepare ourselves to fight, "having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation" (5:8) He concludes, assuming that this will be a hard road:

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing" (5:11).

All that to say, encouragement is probably necessary if scripture is riddled with it. Though it is clearly not the only good thing--most of the content in the letters in the New Testament are devoted to instruction, admonishing believers to pursue holiness at whatever the cost--it seems fair to assume that encouragement within the church body is both healthy and helpful. Still, it does not answer my first question--why do we claim to need it? Why do we keep needing it over and over and over again? I can't help but ashamedly empathize with the Israelites when they constantly doubt that God is going to pull off what He promises to do--how often God laments over how His people have forgotten Him. To my dismay, I, too, am quick to forget. I don't know why my brain seems wired that way and why, if I were just reminded yesterday of God's promises (or five minutes ago), I "need" to hear it again.

I emailed my parents, seeking some clarity, and got a lengthy response from my mom, quoting some things that she was reading and verses that she turns to when she is tempted by discouragement. She ended the email with this:

" I love you, Meredith. You are an amazing, strong, wise, beautiful young woman, and the holy, precious, righteous, forgiven, redeemed, loved, eternally saved child of God, the Heavenly Father...."

What is it about those words that have the power to quell the rising panic that I keep pushing down below my stomach, to hide somewhere entangled within--or perhaps entangling--my intestines? Does my comfort stem from a fear of man--do I so highly regard the approval of my mother that her patting me on the head holds more weight than reading truth in scripture? I wouldn't put it past my sinful self to hold to an inkling of these things, but more often than not, it's the way my parents encourage me that will transform my outlook.

I have been uniquely blessed with parents who love the Lord. Though I am certain they have been disappointed in me at times, they are quick to assure me of my value in Christ. They will note when I'm wrong, but rather than dwell there, they are quick to point me upwards, reminding me in my weakness to rely on God for strength.

That said, being called "amazing" or "beautiful" would be utterly empty had my mother not raised me to understand that any good within me is the work of Christ. If there is any strength in me, it is because God has made me strong. Any wisdom, I can attribute to the Holy Spirit opening my eyes. Any beauty, intended to reflect the glory of the Lord. She follows it up with a laundry list of other attributes of my identity as it is presented in scripture, helping my eyes focus where they belong. My mom realizes what I hope to practice: encouragement should come in Christ--not merely puffing someone up with senseless flattery. The kind of encouragement that we see in scripture is reminding each other of God's triumph to come, looking back at all He has blessed us with, meditating on His grace to forgive even the worst of our sins, and reflecting on the hope that it's worth it to wait up into the night and be on guard and fight for godliness. To dwell on God in this way is honoring and provides a peace and joy that is foreign to this world.

So if that is encouragement, then whether I really "need" it or not, I hope to surround myself with people who offer it freely and look for ways to give it in return.