Use for a Philosophy Degree

Random tidbit from Carreon's blog...

"And, if you happen to be Jewish or Christian, you are commanded to be a lover of wisdom (or in Greek, a “philosopher”): “Get wisdom … love her, and she shall keep thee” (Pro 4:5-6)."

Read his other thoughts on philosophy here and here.

In Terms of the Past

I count nine stars in the night sky from my balcony tonight. I came outside to do some reading, but felt compelled to spend time in prayer instead. There's just something about those back lit palm trees that calm me down and get me thinking about life.

Amidst all the talk (well, reading at least) about what it means to a woman in Biblical terms, there was a nugget of truth that I'd like to stand by when it comes to how I define myself, not only as a woman, but in other ways in my life:

"If we define ourselves out of a reaction to bad experiences [like a precedent of male domination], we will be forever translating our pain in the past into new pain for ourselves and others in the present. We must define ourselves not by personal injury, not by fashionable hysteria, not even by personal variation and diversity, but by the suprapersonal pattern of sexual understanding taught here in Holy Scripture."

-Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr.

It's a particular challenge, but one worth striving for, to look into each new day as if the pain of the past has been erased. In terms of womanhood, this means I cannot look to the misinterpretations or misappropriations of Scripture to develop a reactionary stance of what I determine my purpose as a woman to be. Rather than come to my own conclusions then search around for Biblical support, it's important that I first seek what God's Word has to say, then build my life around that. In particular, one of my big questions has been whether or not my ideas of what it means to be a "helper" have developed out of application suggestions I've heard over the years that I canonized into my own laws of femininity. Have I confused scripturally mandated wifely duties (extreme examples being things like doing all the cleaning and cooking) with some person's thoughts on ways that a wife can show love and respect for a husband? If so, it's an important paradigm shift to make--obeying God's framework for femininity without allowing a legalistic set of rules to weigh me down. Freedom in the gospel.

In terms of everything else, I cannot be weighed down by mistakes, of either myself or others, or allow them to excuse certain behaviors. While it may be helpful for me to understand why I might have cultured certain tendencies due to upbringing or abuses, I cannot allow those things to hinder the way I behave today. Especially when it comes to sin, if I have repented and asked for forgiveness, I should act in light of a debt paid. And for those I've forgiven for sins against me, I must not hold a grudge. Dwelling on the past in this way encourages a defeatist mentality, one that belittles the power of God to transform lives and work in our weakness.

I think I'd be better off each day if I spend a few minutes the night before, clearing my head into the night sky out above the back alley of my building. It's a good time to process through the mistakes of the day, to reflect on God's victories, exhale the bad, and to meditate on what is true. Where I have failed, the gospel reminds me that I am forgiven. When I am tempted to despair, it is God to whom I look for my definition and worth.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'therefore I will hope in him.'"

-Lamentations 3:22-24

Bad Idea #2

It's Spring Break over here in LAUSD, so most of my kids are running out of steam, ready to leave at 7:30 when class lets out. Normally I stay until 9:00 for those ambitious types who need to squeeze in a few more chapters before they go home. But this week, few are feeling so driven.

While waiting for the last of the stragglers to leave, I got to reading some articles over at The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood where I discovered some fodder for my current thoughts on career and the single woman. In "Three Bad Ideas," Frederica Mathewes-Green discusses her earlier days within the feminist movement and what she considers three of the most problematic ideas that feminism has encouraged through the last few decades, one of which she defines as "careerism." Her description of the feminist perspective on men and the resulting power struggle fought against them reveals an underlying problem with the ways in which we identify ourselves:

"There is a pop-sociology concept called "imitating the oppressor," which means that when a group struggles for a new identity it tends to adopt the values of whoever it perceives to be holding power. Thus, anything that looked "feminine" made feminists uncomfortable, because in the opinion of men it was weak. Why we should think that men were smarter than our mothers and grandmothers was never clear. Most of the time, we acted as if men were made only a little higher than pond scum. Yet we accepted unquestioningly that a man's life was the ideal life. Everything about men seemed more serious, more important. We felt embarrassed at our soft arms, and betrayed by our soft emotions. Motherhood was a dangerous sidetrack, a self-indulgent hobby that could slow you down. That's the way men saw it, and who were we to argue? Whatever men treated with contempt was contemptuous; whatever men valued was valuable. And what men valued most was success....So feminism concluded that men, despite being idiots, were on-target about how we should live our lives...We were embarrassed by our female ancestors and envied the males. They had power, and we wanted power. We couldn't imagine any success except success in men's terms."

Two conclusions: 1. If men and women truly are created differently but with equal value, then there's no need to dismiss the unique nature of a woman, be it soft arms or soft emotions. And, 2. When it comes to careers, perhaps men and women have equally gotten it wrong--what leads to fulfillment is not power or success, vain ambitions or frivilous pursuits, but a heart that is daily transformed more and more into the likeness of Jesus Christ. More to come on that...

Feminine Disposition

I came into work this morning at 9:00, which for all of you working folk does not seem so odd unless I explain that I will not get off work around 5:00 like the rest of you, but will be staying here until 9:00 PM. I'm trying to have a positive attitude about that.

Since classes don't start until 10, I took this first hour (where we're really only open so that kids can get dropped off early) to skim through Titus. I halted at chapter 2:

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. "

-Titus 2:3-5, emphasis mine

There are a lot of things I love about my job--where else would I get such a great opportunity to directly impact the lives of so many high school kids on such a personal level? Not only has this job offered some really incredible ministry opportunities, but I see how it has been training me for any number of potential jobs and roles I may fill in the future. I'm learning patience and kindness, how to manage and direct students and teachers alike, and a whole wealth of information about the Los Angeles educational system.

But, like any job, it has its downsides--today the most pressing of which is the daunting 12 hours I will spend in the office. Then I read something in Titus urging women to be working at home and I feel a deep sense of longing to quit my job and adopt a child. Today I don't feel like being a businessman. I want to be a woman.

In the book I'm reading (which I teased in the last post), the authors talk a lot about femininity in terms of having a certain "disposition" toward submission and so forth. They explain that in many circumstances in life you may be prevented from acting in your God-given identity as a woman, but it does not make you unfeminine. They give the example of a wife who is unable to submit to the authority of her husband because he is asking her to do something sinful--in this case, she is not behaving in an unfeminine way by not submitting, as long as she retains the disposition that desires to see her husband repent so that she may once again submit to his leadership.

I firmly believe that God has called me to work during this season of my life rather than stay home, but I find myself fighting a disposition that would prefer freedom for ministry than a 12 hour workday. My commute this morning was marked with a sort of sad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I long to spend my day at home with a child or mentoring and counseling women in the church or making clothing or studying my Bible. I hope that these things will mark future seasons of my life, but for now, I know that I want to live excellently where God has called me.

The verse in Titus is likely not a mandate for women to stay at home, but rather an encouragement to avoid laziness, emphasis on "working" rather than "at home," but it still comes as a stark reminder that I today I'd rather be making my home and caring for a family than drudging away in corporate America. Is then, my feminine disposition to blame for my discontent? Perhaps.

But regardless, I desire in whatever state I am in, to be content, to honor God with my actions and attitudes and to remain joyful. After all, there is the gospel. I am redeemed and reconciled to God through the sacrifice of Jesus and in constant training to become more like Him. If God is really sovereign, I can trust that this season has purpose and find hope and joy all the way until 9:00 PM tonight.


"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."

Titus 2:11-14