Since classes don't start until 10, I took this first hour (where we're really only open so that kids can get dropped off early) to skim through Titus. I halted at chapter 2:
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. "
-Titus 2:3-5, emphasis mine
There are a lot of things I love about my job--where else would I get such a great opportunity to directly impact the lives of so many high school kids on such a personal level? Not only has this job offered some really incredible ministry opportunities, but I see how it has been training me for any number of potential jobs and roles I may fill in the future. I'm learning patience and kindness, how to manage and direct students and teachers alike, and a whole wealth of information about the Los Angeles educational system.
But, like any job, it has its downsides--today the most pressing of which is the daunting 12 hours I will spend in the office. Then I read something in Titus urging women to be working at home and I feel a deep sense of longing to quit my job and adopt a child. Today I don't feel like being a businessman. I want to be a woman.
In the book I'm reading (which I teased in the last post), the authors talk a lot about femininity in terms of having a certain "disposition" toward submission and so forth. They explain that in many circumstances in life you may be prevented from acting in your God-given identity as a woman, but it does not make you unfeminine. They give the example of a wife who is unable to submit to the authority of her husband because he is asking her to do something sinful--in this case, she is not behaving in an unfeminine way by not submitting, as long as she retains the disposition that desires to see her husband repent so that she may once again submit to his leadership.
I firmly believe that God has called me to work during this season of my life rather than stay home, but I find myself fighting a disposition that would prefer freedom for ministry than a 12 hour workday. My commute this morning was marked with a sort of sad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I long to spend my day at home with a child or mentoring and counseling women in the church or making clothing or studying my Bible. I hope that these things will mark future seasons of my life, but for now, I know that I want to live excellently where God has called me.
The verse in Titus is likely not a mandate for women to stay at home, but rather an encouragement to avoid laziness, emphasis on "working" rather than "at home," but it still comes as a stark reminder that I today I'd rather be making my home and caring for a family than drudging away in corporate America. Is then, my feminine disposition to blame for my discontent? Perhaps.
But regardless, I desire in whatever state I am in, to be content, to honor God with my actions and attitudes and to remain joyful. After all, there is the gospel. I am redeemed and reconciled to God through the sacrifice of Jesus and in constant training to become more like Him. If God is really sovereign, I can trust that this season has purpose and find hope and joy all the way until 9:00 PM tonight.
"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."
But, like any job, it has its downsides--today the most pressing of which is the daunting 12 hours I will spend in the office. Then I read something in Titus urging women to be working at home and I feel a deep sense of longing to quit my job and adopt a child. Today I don't feel like being a businessman. I want to be a woman.
In the book I'm reading (which I teased in the last post), the authors talk a lot about femininity in terms of having a certain "disposition" toward submission and so forth. They explain that in many circumstances in life you may be prevented from acting in your God-given identity as a woman, but it does not make you unfeminine. They give the example of a wife who is unable to submit to the authority of her husband because he is asking her to do something sinful--in this case, she is not behaving in an unfeminine way by not submitting, as long as she retains the disposition that desires to see her husband repent so that she may once again submit to his leadership.
I firmly believe that God has called me to work during this season of my life rather than stay home, but I find myself fighting a disposition that would prefer freedom for ministry than a 12 hour workday. My commute this morning was marked with a sort of sad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I long to spend my day at home with a child or mentoring and counseling women in the church or making clothing or studying my Bible. I hope that these things will mark future seasons of my life, but for now, I know that I want to live excellently where God has called me.
The verse in Titus is likely not a mandate for women to stay at home, but rather an encouragement to avoid laziness, emphasis on "working" rather than "at home," but it still comes as a stark reminder that I today I'd rather be making my home and caring for a family than drudging away in corporate America. Is then, my feminine disposition to blame for my discontent? Perhaps.
But regardless, I desire in whatever state I am in, to be content, to honor God with my actions and attitudes and to remain joyful. After all, there is the gospel. I am redeemed and reconciled to God through the sacrifice of Jesus and in constant training to become more like Him. If God is really sovereign, I can trust that this season has purpose and find hope and joy all the way until 9:00 PM tonight.
"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."
Titus 2:11-14
1 comment:
"Today I don't feel like being a businessman. I want to be a woman."
Be a woman. And now, as you find yourself in a business, be a businesswoman. Though it may not be your primary or final career, use all that God has given you to be excellent in business, including your femininity. Show womanly compassion; care for your many (temporary) children. Don't be like a man; there are enough of us around. Do what we can't (there is a long list indeed). I imagine you have done this already, and this is at least partly why you've been so successful.
If motherhood is where God is calling you by your desires (and stomach-pits), listen. Even though it may not fully bloom until you're a mom, don't miss an opportunity to express your femininity in business.
And remember that: "After all, there is the gospel."
Post a Comment