Student Quotes of the Day, Part 1

I've been collecting these over the last couple of months in a document on my desktop. Many of them you've probably seen if you're on my G-chat. But for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of enjoying them, here is a list of my favorite student quotes.

Tina: "Teacher, you look delicious."

Lisa: “Teacher, you look like a Stepford wife.”

Dennis (9th grader): "I want to see your boyfriend."
Meredith: "I don’t think he wants to see you..."
Dennis: "Man, you are both whack!"

Lillian: “These math jokes are lame.”

Dennis: [referring to his Life Skills teacher] "I’m gonna kill her."

Me: No you aren’t.

Dennis: Well, then I’m going to egg her car.

Me: And what would that accomplish?

Dennis: Pleasure.

*note: the above mentioned teacher was later fired for possession of illegal drugs.

Dennis was able to bring his grade up from a D to an A*

Richard: "Teacher, you should get married and have a baby so you don’t have to work here anymore."

Denny: [regarding Matt (Kleinhans) Teacher]: "He looks like a young version of Mr. Rodgers."

*Korean's don't generally know how to rock the sweater vest*

Lisa: [to Roz, regarding the reason she now has difficulty in school] "You are the reason I am this way!!"

*brilliant blame-shifting logic*

Phonetic spelling of "Brad Pitt" with a Korean accent: “Bread Pete” – Robby

In English class...

Dennis: [insults Richard, then, laughing] "I’m sorry."

Meredith: "You aren’t really sorry."

Dennis: "Yes I am…see I’m crying…"

Laura Teacher: "I think you just violated one of Ben Franklin’s virtues."

Sean, in dealing with the stress of writing a thesis statement: "I'm feeling light-headed."

Dennis: [discussing how he wanted to go to Matt Teacher’s wedding last year] “If you get married Teacher—whooo—I’m gonna stalk you!!”

Denny: "I miss being on top."

*meaning, he misses being an 8th grader, rather than lowly 9th...*

Matt: "When I got my AP test and saw that it was a 5--I just dropped it on the floor and was like - I. Am. A historian. Books should be written about me."

*humility + 1*

Dennis: [referring to dealing with acne] "My mom made me an appointment with a pediatrician and they took care of it."

Dennis: [to Sonia] "I thought I was dreaming when I saw Meredith." [to me] "...because you're so beautiful."