Dreaming About Pregnancy Signifies Anxiety About a New Phase in Life

A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream where I found myself pregnant. The most distinct part of the dream was when I went into my kitchen to tell my roommate Alli. I was flipping out and asked, "How in the WORLD did I get pregnant without having sex?!?!"

Then last night, I had another dream about having a kid. I was with some people I don't know (though they were my friends in the dream) in a foreign Spanish-speaking country. We did something wrong that must have not been really wrong, because even though we were hunted by the government, many people were helping us out. So previous to all of this I had somehow had a child who has grown up to around 6 years old (yeah...I'm not sure exactly how long we had been there, but it didn't seem like long enough to have a 6 year old, but go with me on this) So that's about when the police came to get us wherever we were hiding out. It happened to quickly that I didn't have time to say much more to my daughter than, "I know we'll find each other soon." So we escape from jail and we're at this tavern and people keep coming in with news, food, or some of our old things that they managed to find. I kept asking everyone about my daughter since at this point, I would be able to bring her with me, and one old lady told me that she had come to my jail cell the day before (we left that morning, so I just missed her). The last thing that happened before I woke up was that amid flipping out about my kid, I began to wonder how I was going to explain this all to my parents.

Now, I find dreams utterly fascinating, and I think that there is definately some sort of merit to figuring out what they mean. I don't know exactly how much I buy about all the dream psychology, and I don't necessarily think that they are always super-significant (think angels appearing to Biblical figures). But I think that they can definately tell you things about yourself from the sub-conscious realm.

So what exactly does this dream mean? Is it due to my recent baby obsession? Or the fact that I watched Evita last night? Maybe I ate something weird. Thursday night, a friend of mine mentioned that pregnancy in a dream signifies change and fears/anxieties about some new life stage. I hit up Google to get some more info about the different parts of my dream. Aside from what Rochelle told me about pregnancy, I learned that dream analysts consider losing a child to mean something about fallen hopes, foreigners mean expansion of self into unfamiliar territory or an aspect of yourself that seems unfamiliar, and running from someone can mean not facing your fears. This means that a compilation of all these things in last night's dream could be my subconscious musing about my fears of change, disappointment, and the unfamiliar. All are definately possible. There are a couple of issues right now that I'm really wrestling over that scare me to death and don't seem to have answers just yet.

I have a confession to make. I kind of tricked you into reading this post--it's not really all about dreams and what they mean. The bigger question is what's up with freaking out about change?

As a general rule, I keep these posts vague when it comes to the personal details of my life, but this may make more sense if I leak just a little bit. The two big areas that are at the top of my prayer list right now deal with ministry and relationships. (And honestly, what else is really important in my life?) With ministry, I'm battling over where God wants me to be involved next year...and you're welcome to take a wild guess on what the relationships bit is about.

So my head keeps reminding me that if I am continually seeking the Lord, then all I need is patience to see what He reveals to me about these things. Trust in Him, and the other stuff will fall into place as it ought to. Still I worry. Right now I feel like I'm on the edge of something big. Like senior year of high school, these decisions seem to be just as big in guiding my life as the choice of where to go to college. There's potential for some really amazing things to happen soon--some big leaps from where I am right now, both spiritually and socially. Like always, I'm scared to death that I might completely botch it. My best friend, Mitzi, once told me that since God is in control, even I can't screw it up, which I do believe, in a sense. Given that we have freedom of choice, we are able to stray from "the plan," but if we are closely seeking Him, then as life changes, He will bring new things into our lives to glorify Him and bless us. To avoid getting into a discussion of Free-will versus Predestination, I'll leave this topic here. But the gem I want to pull from this is that it really makes no sense to freak out about making decisions (especially when some of them will be made for you) if you are genuinely seeking God in life.

Trust. Easy to talk about. Much harder to do.

I think that when we put high stakes on the choices we make, it's easier to flip out because we've put them on a pedestal. The higher the pedestal, the more damage will be done to the dream if it falls off...and the more damage it will do to your face when it smashes into you on the way down. Pessimistic? Me? No...

Seriously though, if we could learn to view the "big stuff" as not so big, then we could spend less time stressing over it and more time enjoying the transformation. Change doesn't always have to be scary. It can be fascinating and really cool to be a part of. I just don't think of it like that often enough.